Thursday, August 6, 2009
My Top Ten Criminal Habits
Tell us about a Criminal Habit ...
Call me crazy (many do)--but the criminal habit I'm most familiar with was Sally Field's on The Flying Nun.
(ba-da bing, ba-da boom).
OK, enough stalling. Are you talking to me? Are you talkin' to me? OK, you're talkin' to me. And you want a criminal habit? I'll give you one. In fact, I'll give you a list. How about a top ten?
#10. The old toothpaste tube squeeze in the middle.
I find it irresistible. Particularly when it's a new, fresh tube, with all that promise of extra-whitening power ...
#9. Singing in the shower.
Yes, I do this. Sometimes it's Dietrich, sometimes it's Judy Garland. It's always loud.
#8. I forget to clean out my pockets when I do the laundry.
Talk about criminal ... I've practically cornered the market on lint manufacturing.
#7. I won't reboil water for tea if the pot's been sitting there, getting tepid.
Now, in my defense, I've read that you're not supposed to. But I tend to be a little, well, obsessive about it. Go figure! ;)
#6. I fidget.
Always have. Always will. That's fidget, not Gidget.
#5. I question authority and get very, very impatient with bureaucracy ... and will often lose my temper because of it.
Wait ... is that a criminal habit or one woman's plea for a saner world?
#4. Social networking.
OK, I admit it. I like it. I spend time on it. It's marketing, yeah, that's what it is--marketing!
#3. Too much noir.
Dark, obsessive, boundary-busting characters who make all the wrong decisions on a rainy night in the crowded city make me feel happy. I keep asking my mom how many times she watched Double Indemnity when she was pregnant ...
For those who understand, that says it all.
My number one, top criminal habit is .... (drum roll, please)
#1. Checking Amazon numbers.
It's the writers' disease. We all do it. I'm probably doing it right now, thanks to tabs on Firefox. Anybody know of a 1-800 group to call? Or maybe some kind of Amazon patch that feeds us the data in increasingly smaller amounts?
So come on, CMs -- spill. I've given you ten, count 'em ten, criminal habits--share a little, and make me feel better! :)