Thursday, August 12, 2010
In Which I Share Some Eavesdroplings, and the Best Endorsement Evah!
Strictly speaking, this isn't a review. It probably falls more in the blurb category. Also, it comes from someone who didn't read the actual book (which doesn't disqualify it from the blurb category, now that I think about it).
One day while I was working on Chasing Smoke, which feels like it was one million years ago now—Wow. It just hit me I'm working on my fifth book now. Chasing Smoke was over two books ago. Just, wow.
Anyway, this particular day in the coffee shop, a woman sat in the chair next to me and jabbered on the phone for about an hour. I admit I was listening to her more than I was writing, because she was saying things like:
"I realize we haven't met yet or anything, so I won't hold you to your answer, but would you ever consider reversing your vasectomy?"
And, "I just want to see your picture. . . . No, I don't care if you're dressed or not. Either way." Pause to listen. "That big? Sweet."
These little eavesdroplings were pure gold, so naturally I was typing a transcript of her half of the conversation rather than getting much actual work done.
So she's talking and talking and I'm typing and typing, and when she hangs up she notices me looking at her. I expect to take some serious crap for listening in on her phone call, but instead she gets all bright-eyed and says, "Hey, you sure do type a lot! Whatcha doing?"
I immediately close the transcript document in case she decides to lunge into my chair to read what I'm working on. She doesn't. (This is a good thing.)
I explain I am writing a novel, and she says she wants to read it. I'm not too clear on whether she understood I wouldn't be able to let her read it until it was done and the novel was in actual book form, but fortunately I had a copy of Lost Dog in my bag. When I showed it to her, I think she somehow got the idea the book I was writing was the book she held in her hands. But whatever.
After a thorough inspection she turned to me and offered the Best Blurb Evah!
"This looks like a great book for my fiancé to read while he's in jail."
Oh. My. Gawd. Yes.
I see no need to explore such questions as: was her fiancé the person she was talking to on the cell phone? And if so, why did she need to see a picture, clothed or otherwise? And what was that big? And why hasn't she met her fiancé yet? If it wasn't her fiancé, does her fiancé know she's talking to men she hasn't met and discussing the reversal of their vascectomies with them, and, well ... Yeah.
Because: "This looks like a great book for my fiancé to read while he's in jail."
While this delightful bon mot isn't a review, it is my Go To Endorsement whenever some anonymous Publishers Weekly reviewer flicks shit my way. ("'Contrived' you say? 'Detestable?' Maybe you should have read it while you were in jail!')