Wednesday, September 29, 2010

There can be only one...

I thought about this question long and hard - that is after I pulled up the blog and wondered why no one had posted today and then realized it was because it was my turn.

Note to self - there is this thing called a calendar - learn how to use it.

So after being in shock and thinking "I'll come up with something quick" I take a look at our question. Unless I'm mistaken we are to chose "one" fictional character to run away with. And there in lies the problem - who wants to run away with just one fictional character. If I'm running off somewhere I might as well have a time - you know what I mean?

So I'll start with Danielle Laidlaw - one of the lead characters from my own books - she's smart, tough, sexy. Just the kind of girl I like. So much so, that when I first let my wife read a draft of the book her response was unexpected: she cut her eyes at me and said - "I hate her. Who is she? And don't lie to me!"

Moving on - you all know my affinity for Bond Girls - so why not run off with a few of them - they usually have rich "uncles" or benefactors and lots of time to play in wonderful places like Monaco and the Caribbean. Anywhere that a skimpy bathing suit is considered proper attire.

Although there is a draw back to this plan - I would probably have to end up in a bathing suit too and aside from blinding casual onlookers with my lizard like white, underbelly ( all those who were not wearing welders goggles) , I also look nothing like Daniel Craig when splashing around in the water. So... perhaps we go skiing with the Bond girls instead.

And finally looking back into fiction from an earlier era there are two of my favorites - sort of. There is Ms. Scarlet O'Hara - yes she of the 17 inch waist and endless drama. Honestly, my decision to send time with her is really just for conditioning. You see I could never understand what took Rhett Butler sooooo long to give her the "heave ho" and mean seriously she was annoying to me pretty much right from the beginning - "Oh Rhett, Oh Ashley, Oh Rhett - Oh who shall I chose?" - - OH SPARE ME.

For Clark Gable to put up with all that - there must have been some amazing fireworks going on if you know what I mean? So it might be worth investigating.

And that brings me to my final thought - who better to run away with than Barbara Eden's Jeannie from the classic TV show I Dream of Jeannie.

I realize it was sort of a bizarre, male fantasy from the 60's - be an astronaut, live with a gorgeous woman who has magic powers, is always tan and rarely wearing a lot of clothing, disappears when you need her too and calls you master - and if you really want some peace, you can just cap the bottle and keep her from bothering you - and unlike everything else from the 50's-60's you don't even have to marry her. At least not right away.

Plus, I think she got all the pay per view stuff for free in that bottle.

Graham Brown is the author of two novels: Black Rain and Black Sun - neither of which involves a magical, scantilly clad Jeannie. But maybe next time.


Rebecca Cantrell said...

I knew we had to get a guy in here! No namby pamby "Oh my husband is the best hero in the world and I can't even imagine ever running away with anyone else" (which is what I would have posted if I hadn't invited Hilary over for her debut). Nope, Graham has a list. Not one, not two, but so many that I can't even keep count.

Way to go, Graham!

And, as usual, a funny post to boot.

Gabi said...

Graham, you are so right. One does seem limiting and you would definitely have a time with the Baskin Robbins selections. Plus, no calories. I also love your wife's line. I'm surprised, however, she didn't think it was her. My exes all think they are my protagonist. No one seems to figure out that if you were that good you wouldn't be ex.

Rebecca, we alll know you have a multi-volume list alphabetized on a back up drive with password protection. Your husband is married to you. He'll roll with the TMI (he's read your books). Now, spill already.

Meredith Cole said...

Very funny, Graham! Love the list (maybe Jeannie helps keep her master's calendar, too? If so, I could use a genie as well...). And love your wife's reaction. My husband doesn't see himself in any of my characters either (thank goodness--since quite a few end up dead!).

Graham Brown said...

You guys said it had to be a "list" I was just following orders.

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Stick to the party line, Graham! Maybe it'll keep you out of more trouble. :)

Gabi, moi? A four page alphabetized list that I would admit to on the Internet? I have no such thing. And I can't recall if I ever did.

No more questions.

Gabi said...

You mean four volumes, right?

And Graham, the 'they made me do it' thing -- well, it's a classic anyway.

Sophie Littlefield said...

great list graham. :)

i think i'm going to raffle off photos of you in a bathing suit on my blog. white underbelly and all, i'll probably get ten thousand hits.

Kelli Stanley said...

OK, Graham--dish.

Jeannie or Samantha?

And the honest truth here: Ginger or Mary Ann? ;)

C'mon, don't let the home team down, bro!! ;)

GREAT post!!!