Sunday, September 5, 2010

We're Allowed Out in Public?




Gabriella Herkert

Catnapped and Doggone

The conference story or as I like to think of it -- the inarticulate late night ramblings of the socially inept creative crowd gathered together in a venue with stress-inducing public speaking and ready access to alcohol. I have to say blogging on Sunday may have an as-yet-unexplored advantage. I can tell conference stories about some of my fellow CMers with limited chance of repercussion. They could comment, of course, but they’ve already posted on this topic so it’s not like gag gifting someone on their birthday when yours is the next week.

Michael Wiley and I published our first books about the same time. We did our first panel together before we were even on the shelves. We were virgins together and then, well, we weren’t. Moving on…


I went to support Bill Cameron who was doing a panel with a group of graphic novelists. I don’t really read graphic novels but this panel had great chemistry and I ended up breaking into my piggy bank to test drive some new things afterwards. But during the panel, Bill started an anecdote with something like…”I was trapped in my jockey shorts in the bathroom of a no-tell motel with three rental trannies in the next room when the police pounded on the door. I leapt for the tiny window above the tub…” Naturally I yelled, “Again?” from the depths of the room. For some reason, everyone laughed. I didn’t get it. A comprehensive arrest record seems like trouble but what do I know?

I met Kelli Stanley about five minutes before I went to this non-panel panel conversation thing about noir. I went because she was interesting. She dressed cool and spoke in smart-ass. She Pied Pipered me straight to this thing I had no intention of going to that I didn’t even understand. It wasn’t a panel. It was a smart kid school lunch. History, politics, philosophy, law, medicine. Sixty minutes of brain food and style sexier than Mad Men. I order her stuff in advance.
Then there’s Sophie and drunken karaoke and a near miss with the local constabulary. There’s no one I’d rather have a near miss with. For that matter, if things go bad, you’ll know we’re great friends. Good friends will post bail. Great friends are sitting next to you in lock up.


I haven’t had a chance to meet all of my virtual blog family yet but I can’t wait. I only want to do panels with them. It will save me from repeating my most scarring conference experience. I was once on a Sex and Murder panel with a contingent of Puritans who made me look like a five dollar hooker holding a sale in a mining camp. The next time I do a panel like that, I’m gonna sit between Shane and Joshua. I’ll look positively angelic. And we will laugh and laugh and laugh…even before happy hour. I assume we’ll laugh after happy hour, too, but it’s possible not all of us will remember.

Thanks for reading and coming to see us when we’re on the conference or book circuit.

And don't forget this is a great week to pick up something new and fantastic. Not one, but two, of our fabulous team have new books coming out this week. Graham Brown's Black Sun (follow up to his stay up all night Black Rain) and Joshua Corin's While Galileo Preys. Yeah!!!!

Gabi

9 comments:

Michael Wiley said...

Well. "We were virgins together and then . . . we weren't." That's the most exciting thing that anyone has said about me in a long time.

And it's true: it was Alaska, it was Bouchercon, the weather was cold and getting colder, there were moose in the vicinity, and Gabi and I just couldn't help ourselves: we did a panel together. And it was good.

Gabi said...

I have such fond memories of losing our "status" together. No one I'd rather be able to say that about.

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Man, you guys have all the fun!

Hope to panel with you at Bouchercon. Fully clothed.

Shane Gericke said...

"I was once on a Sex and Murder panel with a contingent of Puritans who made me look like a five dollar hooker holding a sale in a mining camp. The next time I do a panel like that, I’m gonna sit between Shane and Joshua.'

Fuckin'-A we'll make you look angelic, Bubbela. Josh and I will say the same stuff but he'll sound smarter, cause of course he is.

And that five-dollar hooker is one of the best lines I've ever seen written. Truly. Gives Labor Day sales a bright new meaning ...

I hope you and Michael had a cigarette after your literary consummation.

Gabi said...

We may never have met in person yet, Rebecca, but I know in my heart of hearts that clothes or no clothes you're going to the big house with Sophie and me.

Gabi said...

I knew I could count on you and Josh, Shane. There's just something about you guys, Graham too for that matter, that says naughty, naughty.

Michael and I didn't smoke. Smoking is bad for you. Not the good kind of bad.

Rebecca Cantrell said...

You're probably right, Gabi! Sophie has influence. :)

You draw the line at smoking but not wild promiscuous paneling?

Gabi said...

Michael is very...persuasive. Or yes and no.

Kelli Stanley said...

Oh, Gabs, I luvs ya. Thank you!! ;)

Hard to believe we were all virgins in Alaska (but then, so was Bristol once). ;)

All I can say is that I miss you and can't wait to speak smart-ass with the sisters who started it!

xoxo