Friday, October 1, 2010

Are You Crazy? How Could I Leave This?


Typical evening at the Gerickes.


By Shane

This week's question: What fictional character could make you leave your spouse or significant other?

Well, that's an easy one.

Zilch.


Nada.


None.


Why?


Cause I love her and she loves me.


I mean, really, how could she not? I flood her with candlelight and romance, because, darn it, she deserves all the attention I can pay . . .







. . . when she arrives home from work, I help her undress so that we may cuddle and that I may listen attentively to what she has to say and how she feels about, well, everything . . .







. . . when it's time to shower, I insist that she goes first, so as to enjoy the hottest water and so that I may clean the shower when we're done. (Be sure to watch till the end of the video to see how I do my work.) It's the little things that keep a marriage zesty . . .






. . . and I even allow her to do everything around the house exactly the way she wants. After all, what she likes, I like . . .






So with all that going for me, how could I possibly leave my woman for a mere fictional character?

BEKKA BITES BIG-TIME

I'm proud to announce today that friend and blogmate Rebecca Cantrell's splendid new book, iDrakula, is hitting the nation's bookstores.

I got to peek at the galley a couple months ago, when she was in Chicago to promote her other book, A Night of Long Knives. I was blown away with the coolness of the premise: a modern retelling of Bram Stoker's classic using only text messages, emails and web browsers. Booklist was wild about it, and this book/app/multimedia hydra is going to get eyepopping reviews, I predict. That she gave me the honor of making the official announcement raises my coolness factor by 20 points.

Well, 10, anyway ...

She's writing this under the name Bekka Black, and you can read more about it at www.bekkablack.com. Please enjoy.



When Shane Gericke isn't anointing his wife's feet with precious oils and herbs, he's hanging out at www.shanegericke.com. He'd love you to come visit and check out his latest thriller, Torn Apart, but only if that would make you happy. After all, dear reader, Shane is here for you.

16 comments:

Lois Winston said...

Very funny, Shane! But for some reason I'm reminded of all those times my kids would spend an hour complaining and trying to weasel out of doing something that would have taken them all of 5 minutes. Oh, and did I mention they're also guys? But they never made me laugh the way you just did. Maybe they should have been more creative in their complaining and weaseling.

Meredith Cole said...

You've got a very lucky wife, Shane! I have a strange feeling she doesn't read our blog, though...

Sophie Littlefield said...

i think both the gerickes are lucky :)

Kelli Stanley said...

I second Sophie!! :) And thanks as always, sweetheart, for the Friday chuckles. :)

xoxo

Shane Gericke said...

Yeah, Lois, isn't that funny, spending more time on the grousing than it would have taken to do the work in the first place! Course, I got all my creativity thinking up all those excuses ... it never worked, but that didn't keep me from trying.

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Loved the videos, Shane! Your medleys are always laugh out loud funny. I voted for the showering one as best, my husband for the guy jumping into the bubble bath. Excavator was wonderfully suspenseful and who knew a 4 minute slow motion undressing scene could be completely unerotic?

Thanks also for the great shout out re: IDRAKULA. Today I gave birth to a vampire...bwa-ha-ha! (actually, of course, it was all created much earlier and just saw the light of day today, ordinarily a bad thing for vampires but not in this case.)

Shane Gericke said...

Too true, Meredith. Jerrle would only shake her head in wonder at the #$*&^ I dream up for this blog. That's why she's the sensible one and I'm ... me. Somehow, it all clicks. Good thing, too. Who else'd have me? Especially after finding that "Put Another Log on the Fire" video, a true classic in musical gooberhood ...

Thanks, Soph and Kel. You're sweet. Though I won't tell anyone, I promise.

Shane Gericke said...

Thanks, Rebecca. I put this together at the local Panera's coffee shop, and was laughing so hard at the shower scene a few people wondered if I was having a heart attack. Lost it completely at the woo-woo moment.

And cool that you're a Vampire Mom today! And you didn't gain a pound!

Shane Gericke said...

Oh, the excavator video. It was SO unerotic. But it involved a cute woman and a big machine and undressing, the Big Three in Guy World. If it had only had nachos ...

I also hear Josh's new book is available for pre-order on Amazon. Is that true? Anyone know details?

Gabi said...

I love how all the readers are finding this true tale of masculine devotion funny. I think it's tender and touching and, well, FICTION.

Your wife is very lucky. All the good deeds she's doing in this life will pay off if that Buddhist reincarnation thing pays off.

Then again, funny is very sexy. I do notice you didn't answer the actual question which is who you would have the dirty weekend with. Your wife apparently doesn't have a I'm gonna go there list (delusion is such a happy place) but isn't there someone you'd like running baths for you?

Rebecca Cantrell said...

I love your sunny optimism, Gabi!

Can't wait to meet you in person in SF in a few weeks.

Plotting will ensue!

Rebecca Cantrell said...

And I forgot to say that karmically, Jerrle will indeed have it very good in the next life. She fed me and made me gluten-free peanut butter cookies that saved me when I was trapped in the plane (and airport!) for three hours each (six hours total, in case anyone's counting, as the airlines clearly weren't). She will come back as a queen.

Shane Gericke said...

Isn't there someone you'd like running baths for you?

Why, of course Gabi. But she doesn't know. And I'm too, you know, shy to ask her ...

Shane Gericke said...

Dang, Rebecca, I wish I had some of those peanut butter cookies right now. I'm starvin'. (He wrote while drinking a stout and smoking a cigar on his deck.) If only I had a wife to snap my fingers at and issue orders to--er, I mean, lovingly ask if I could run her bath water and fluff her towels.

Shane Gericke said...

You guys just aren't buying this shit, are ya?

Gabi said...

You're, er, shy. Yep. That's the impression I got from the voyeur family album photo at the top of the blog.