Friday, October 29, 2010

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Flu, I Hate You . . .

By Shane Gericke

If Detective Emily Thompson wins the lottery, she'll build herself a new house.

Which will promptly get blown up by a serial killer.

Just like the last two houses she built.

Nothing she can do about it, of course. Because that's how serial killers roll.

And, uh, I think . . .

Ahhhh, who am I kidding? This essay totally stinks, and it's the best I had. My apologies. I don't like to give you twaddle, unless it's funny twaddle, in which case it's A-OK. Which this isn't. Everything I've written this week is sucking like vampires at a blood bank.

Cause I got me the influenza. Plus an ear infection.

Thanks, Bouchercon!!

Not surprising, really. Crowd 1,200 people into a room, someone's gonna be packing--and passing along, however unintentionally--the flu. I, unfortunately, caught it.

I was nasty sick most of this past week. Spent most of it in bed, sleeping, with so little energy the few hours I was awake, I could barely dredge up the muscle to turn over. Chills, fever, exhaustion, intense aches--"Flu" is a humorous lil' word for a cripplingly big-ass body killer. Kinda like naming an NFL linebacker, "Twinkles."

Fortunately, it's passed with the help of time and meds. A good thing, too--as you read this, I'm flying to Irvine, CA for the annual Men of Mystery book conference. It's tomorrow, with 50 authors and 500 readers who'll spend the day talking about books. Check it out at

Hope to see you there.

Without Twinkles :-)


Sophie Littlefield said...

oh, poor Shane!! :(

I hope you are doing ok after that flight - those are so hard on ear infections. And get thee a neti pot!

Lois Winston said...

Feel better, Shane! And get a flu shot next year.

Kelli Stanley said...

Poor thing!! I'm so sorry!! I'm still coughing and hacking on my end, hoping this doesn't turn to bronchitis or worse.

We ran smack into the germ factory, sweets.

Get well, make sure you drink a lot of fluids, especially since the plane will dehydrate you, and wow that audience with your manly mystery!! :)


Meredith Cole said...

So sorry to hear you're sick... Hope you feel better soon! And I hope you don't bump into any more germs this weekend.

Shane Gericke said...

Doing all right today, thanks everyone. I'm answering this in the boarding area at Chicago Midway, getting ready to head out to Orange County in a few minutes. So, the sleep and meds worked well. Yowzah!!

Lois, I would have, but it wasn't a seasonal flu they have shots for. One of the zillions out there with no name. The shots wouldn't have done me much good, alas. But the chicken soup and pills worked fine!

I shall have to be Manly Mystery in a few hours, so getting on my game face now. Arrrrgh!!!

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Anyone who can have a gin smoothie for breakfast can kick a flu's butt and also look hunky as a Man of Mystery.

You will SOOOO wow them, dude!

(still, rest when you can, and I won't tell)

Michael Wiley said...

Sorry that you caught the bug, Shane. It's amazing that anyone escaped from the crowds (friendly as they were) without a few extra germs on board.

I agree with Rebecca: flu can't do too much to anyone who drinks gin smoothies for breakfast . . . though this all could BE the delayed results of the gin.

Feel well.

Gabi said...

I try to be an outward emoter of all things contagious. You're one of those sweet, soft in-people. Naturally, I do not understand you despite my actual gladness that you've managed to beat back the beast.

Careful with Sophie's advice. Those neti pots look like grandma's tea pot. They kick your sinuses like grandpa's mule.