“Smoke wafting from a Cadillac Escalade on the Las Vegas Strip ignited Paris Hilton's latest legal troubles late Friday, when a motorcycle officer who suspected the smell was marijuana stopped the vehicle and police say a bag of cocaine fell out of the 29-year-old socialite's purse. As . . . a crowd gathered on the busy neon-lit Strip, Hilton asked to go into the Wynn Resort for privacy. ‘Miss Hilton pulled out a tube of lip balm,’ [a police spokesman said]. ‘At the same time . . . a bindle of cocaine in a plastic bag came out of her purse’ in plain view of police in the room” (Associated Press,
But (speaking personally now) I’m not Paris Hilton, and the paparazzi have yet to take interest in my own stupid mistakes (none of which have involved
PI Falls from Window while High on Xanax
PI Stands By as Best Fried Is Shot
None of the mistakes is Joe’s own fault, of course. He didn’t remember the newsstand having been on that particular corner. Someone else slipped him the Xanax. The vibrator wasn’t his. We’ve heard these excuses before and have tired of them, and so, Joe generally doesn’t bother making them. Anyway, his best defense, if he were interested in raising one, would be much simpler: he has done nothing that Paris Hilton wouldn’t do.