Tuesday, November 9, 2010

One criminal, mined

by Josh

Ahh...so much crime, so little time...

Speaking as someone who actually has been arrested (for all of thirty minutes), I can say with all honesty (and some shame) that, in answer to this week's fascinating question, the sinner's vocation I most would enjoy is...

Uh...

Yeah, this one's going to be a disappointment, because, you see, at the end of the day, even in the darkest corners of my dreamscapes, I don't want to be a criminal.

I've written about thieves, murderers, pimps, rapists, embezzlers, blackmailers, loan sharks, pederasts, and goons. If I have ever harbored any fantasies of moral violation, they have been well vented, and the rest have been frightened away by the research I've had to do to best portray thieves, murderers, pimps, rapists, embezzlers, blackmailers, loan sharks, pederasts, and goons on the page.

I don't want to be like these people.

It is a wonder, really, that our society is as law-abiding as it is. Aren't laws an affront to our lizard brain instincts to take what we want? There are some who might argue that it is fear of punishment - from their parents, from the police, from God, from whatever figure they hold in authority - which keeps us in check. Others might argue that ethical behavior is as much a part of our genetic code as a need for companionship, that we are hardwired to have a conscience.

One of the reasons I think that I write so much about criminals is because their choices are so far removed from my own, and is there a better way to appreciate another person's point of view than to step into their shoes for a chapter or two? Certainly, as far as options go, it's the most legally sound.

I know, I know. I must sound like such a Clark Kent. What can I say? My parents raised me right. Now if you'll excuse me, one of my characters has a priest he needs to chop up.

7 comments:

Meredith Cole said...

You were arrested? For 30 minutes? Now I'm intrigued. Details, please!

Lois Winston said...

Yes, we definitely need details on the 30 minute arrest. How can you leave us hanging like that???

Joshua Corin said...

Ah, but I need to keep some secrets for next time, don't I?

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Josh, now you've told them you're in the Witness Protection Program and it only took you 30 minutes to roll over on your bosses. That woman we met at Bouchercon posing as your "mom" was really an actress.

Glad to hear you don't have real criminal tendencies. The way your mind works, you'd be very good at it.

Kelli Stanley said...

Somehow, Josh, I'm not buying the "good boy from Rhode Island" pose. Na-ah.

You gotta come clean, bro. Confession is good for the soul. :)

Besides, breaking ANY law would be enough to be technically labeled a criminal, right? So what about all that jay-walking???

xoxo

Shane Gericke said...

Personally, prison food would keep me from going to prison. Weevils and roaches and bugs, O my! And, the orange jumpsuits mentioned yesterday.

But be assured you'd make an excellent criminal and do us all proud.

Gabi said...

Secret keeping -- No. Absolutely not.

And we all want a minute by minute detailed description of your time in the pokey. Was it for one of those Scared Straight high school things? If so, it worked.