Monday, December 13, 2010

Eight Days of Vampire Hanukkah?

It's the holiday season, and this week my fellow Criminal Minds and I are exploring the eight days of Hanukkah and what gifts our protagonists would most anticipate.

As regular readers of the CM blog know, I write about modern-day vampires, and they don't celebrate the holidays in the same way as humans. In fact, the secular holidays like Independence Day, Thanksgiving, and the start of football season are often observed but others that have a religious basis, such as Easter, Christmas, or Hanukkah, usually slip by with little fanfare. That's made this week's post especially challenging for me, but I think I've found a way to convey the week's topic and still have a little fun.

To the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas," I present "The 8 Days of Vampire Hanukkah" as sung (badly and offkey) by Alexandra Sabian:

On the first day of vampire Hanukkah, my mother gave to me
A black sweater made of cashmere-y.

On the second day of vampire Hanukkah, my brother gave to me,
A pair of Doc Martens boots with toes of steely.

On the third day of vampire Hanukkah, my human partner gave to me,
A faux mouse in a ball toy for Dweezil, my kitty.

On the fourth day of vampire Hanukkah, my boss gave to me,
A new tactical light with laser sighting!

On the fifth day of vampire Hanukkah, the lab guys gave to me,
Two bags of gourmet whole bean coffee from Hawaii.

On the sixth day of vampire Hanukkah, the county coroner gave to me,
A case of Vlad's Tears synthietic blood in cherry.

On the seventh day of vampire Hanukkah, my brother gave to me,
A copy of "Cooking for Dummies."

On the eigth day of vampire Hanukkah, my true love gave to me,
A diamond engagement ring...which I gave back to him promptly!

Well, there you have it. I hope you found my post to be at least a little entertaining.


Wishing everyone a happy and healthy holiday season!

~ Jeannie

10 comments:

Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

I can tell that this is going to be a very entertaining week here at CM!

Lois Winston said...

Thanks for the morning laugh, Jeannie!

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Loved it, Jeannie!

My favorite gift for Alex was "Cooking for Dummies," and after all she did to rescue him in the first book too. Brothers...

Jeannie Holmes said...

Yes, Sue, it should be very entertaining. Despite the challenges, I had fun with this week's topic. :)

Jeannie Holmes said...

You're welcome, Lois!

Jeannie Holmes said...

Thanks, Beckers! I liked the "Cooking for Dummies" as well. It's also fitting since Alex can't cook without setting off the smoke alarm...which usually ends up smashed on the floor. Brothers...can't live with 'em...can't really live without 'em.

Kelli Stanley said...

Ha!! Thank you, Jeannie--that brightened my morning!! :) Does cherry-flavored Vlad's Tears taste anything like cough syrup? ;)

xoxo

Jeannie Holmes said...

You're welcome, dahlin'! I imagine cherry Vlad's Tears does have cough syrup like taste. Ugh.

Reece said...

Well played, Jeannie! Vlad's Tears could be a new holiday tradition. I was never that big on egg nog, anyway.

Jeannie Holmes said...

Thanks, Reece! I'm not a huge eggnog fan either, but I don't know that I'd actually want any Vlad's Tears. ;)