Tuesday, December 28, 2010

In Which I Attempt to Be (Poetically) Resolute

by Josh

I hereby promise no more threats
of violence made to made-up pets
although I'm left to wonder how
to show my villain's menace now
that he can't kick a kitten or
sell puppies to an abattoir

Perhaps I could just show him cheat
on taxes or swindle some Wall Street
exec out of a bonus mill
but those I fear would so instill
a kinship with my scoundrel that
he might as well wear a white hat

And so my problem's left unsolved
my resolution unresolved
'cause thrillers need their monsters vile
replete with rancor, filth, and bile
and nothing's more abhorrent than
a dolphin stuffed in a trash can

Unless I show him killing folks
left and right, leaving bloody yolks
where skulls had been - that might just do
that just might be the creep to brew
'cause PETA never protested
to have Ted Bundy arrested


Lois Winston said...

I am in awe of all my fellow Criminal Minds who managed to rhyme their posts the last two weeks. Well done, all! Just call me a cop out.

Michael Wiley said...

I'm with you, Josh. After awhile, kitten killing seems like a cheap shot . . . though one might get away with it if one makes the kitten victim especially malevolent.

A great resolutions -- Happy New Year!

Joshua Corin said...

Happy New Year to you too, Michael!

Reece said...

Well done, Josh! When I want to create a particularly evil villain, I usually start by making him a lawyer. But maybe that's just me. Happy New Year!

Joshua Corin said...

Oooh, good idea, Reece....

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Wow, that's going to be a tough one! I admire your resolve. Maybe insects are OK? Even if they're the giant cockroaches we get here which seem almost as big as kitten...

Joshua Corin said...

But, Becky, not even a serial killer can slay a giant cockroach...

Shane Gericke said...

This is just evil.

I am insanely jealous :-)

Joshua Corin said...

Don't be jealous, Shane. There's enough evil for all of us to share.

Shane Gericke said...

Thank God for that. I need the job :-)

Kelli Stanley said...

Brilliant, Josh! I particularly savored your rhyme with "abbatoir"!

As for the evil villain part ... somehow, I think you've got that nailed, bro. ;)