Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Typical Family Scene or Criminal Activity?

By Tracy Kiely

Okay, so as you all know, this week we are to post a picture and the views of two separate individuals upon seeing said picture. For my picture, I chose a scene entitled “family living.” For the second opinion on the picture, I chose my husband (or “Husband” as he appears below).

So, to start – here is the picture:

Me:

Hmm… lots going on here. First of all, the parents are clearly self-absorbed. Note that there is only furniture for them – the children are forced to play by the very dangerous fireplace that not only doesn’t have a grate but doesn’t seem to have a hearth either. From the looks of it, the children have built some kind of robot, no doubt as a replacement for the lack of nurturing parental contact. In fact, wouldn’t be surprised if in desperation for a loving adult figure they have created one to fill the void in their home. Based on the almost idiotic smiles on the parents’ faces, I suspect some kind of drug abuse. This would also explain why the mother has fashioned an outfit out of the spare set of slipcovers for the couch and the father is wearing that sweater. The house is also unnaturally clean suggesting an unnatural obsession with order. I’m not sure what the father is reading, but the mechanism on the table in front of him looks suspiciously like a bomb. Perhaps he is building one and the material in his hands is a manual of sorts. This would explain the children’s skill in building a robot – perhaps they are a mechanically inclined family and the children have not yet learned to use their talent for evil.

However, the more I study this picture, the more I am convinced that these “parents” are actually criminals and their family is nothing more than a cover. How else could you explain the mind-boggling hideousness of the room’s decor? Drug abuse only explains so much. It does not for instance explain away that wallpaper or those prints. Yes, after a careful study of the picture my conclusion is that the parents depicted are criminals from another country. I would venture to guess that this country does not have access to sophisticated resources as they have apparently sent operatives who attempted to infiltrate and blend into society based on a Sears’ catalog from the early 80s’.

Husband:

Hey, is that the Redskins playing?

12 comments:

Margot Kinberg said...

OK, this is absolutely hilarious!!! Just goes to show you how crime fiction writers think..... ;-)

TracyK said...

And why we don't get the lure of football...

Mary Vaughn said...

Too funny! People who write crime fiction see it everywhere. Men, no matter what they do, see sports first.

Meredith Cole said...

Very funny, Tracy! Your mind is delightfully suspicious...

As a writer, though, my eye was first drawn to the one of the tools of the trade--the ancient laptop she's typing on...

Bev said...

This is so funny. I do agree, the parents look odd and drug abuse can only explain so much. Is that an antenna on top of the TV?
The better to get the Redskins reception?
Great post~~

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Maybe it's one of those Soviet "mock America" spy training houses. That explains the decor and the feeling creepy inauthenticity.

Or, your husband may be right.

TracyK said...

I wondered about the mock soviet spy house. It would explain the dated furnishings. It's a bit like when the Russians pick their music for the ice skating routines - it's always something from the late 80s/early 90s

Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

Hysterical!

jenny milchman said...

Ha ha, hysterical. Reminds me of Mystery Science Theater commentary.

Shane Gericke said...

Jenny, good point! Crow T. Robot would offer wise commentary on this photo, which is clearly a freeze-frame from a commercial whereupon Sis asks Wise Mom, "Mom, how do I know I'm, y'know, fresh?"

Shane Gericke said...

And Tracy, your husband is wise and knowing.

TracyK said...

I miss Mystery Science Theater! Didn't they all break up or something? I think, if I remember correctly, Yoko Ono was involved somehow.