Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Flute music

Um, hi.

Soooooooooooooooooooo...

OK, here's the thing:

Josh has a play opening tomorrow or something and his brain is, like, as fried as a McDonald's hamburger and, well, he asked if I could fill in while he was - wait, lemme check so I can get it right - "mentally incapacitated."

Although if you ask me, when is he not "mentally incapacitated?" LOL!

Errr...sorry. I'm a little nervous. Being the center of attention isn't really my thing. At least it didn't used to be my thing before...well...

But that's another story.

I should probably introduce myself. My name's Lily. I'm fifteen, I go to Mather High School in Mather, Massachusetts, and if I'm not really, really careful, I might accidentally rip out your soul and kick it to hell.

I know, I know. You think I'm kidding.

I wish I was kidding.

I'm not kidding.

But like I said, that's, you know, another story, and one I've, like, already written about in a novel called BENEATH, so I think what I'm going to do now is answer this week's topic. Yeah, that sounds cool. This week's topic. Which is...

Oh, right! What do I do when I'm not doing what I do. Oooh...good question! Thanks for asking! Let's see. I like to nap, but who doesn't right? I like to chill in front of the TV with my mom and watch bad reality shows. Our favorite right now is The Real Housewives of Orange County. We have a game we play where every time one of the rich women complains, we throw popcorn at the TV screen and by the end of the show, there's A LOT of popcorn on the floor, but you might think - OMG, what a waste of perfectly good popcorn! - but see, we got this golden retriever named Gumball and when it comes to popcorn on the floor Gumball's, like, better than a vacuum cleaner, which is good because we don't own a vacuum cleaner right now because I broke it that time I tried to suck up this puddle of pink paint I spilled in my bedroom when Cal and I were painting t-shirts on my bed to wear during the breast cancer walk and really it was Cal's idea so I don't see why I should've taken all the blame although I'm not surprised since he never gets in trouble because his parents treat him like he's made of glass and hey, at least it wasn't glass we were trying to vacuum up off my floor, right? Because that would've totally sucked even harder.

But anyway........I guess what I really like to do to relax is play my flute. I go up on the roof of our building and I can see most of the town and Boston too and if it's not too windy I can bring my music up with me but usually it's too windy so I just play the songs I know like Clair de Lune and it doesn't even matter sometimes what I play as long as I'm playing and it's like the whole world gets turned into that music and I'm playing it and for once, everything is under control and OK and that's nice, you know?

And Josh thinks he has a right to complain? Let him try dealing with the crap I've had to deal with this week. Please. Don't even get me started. I mean, you try being a tiny girl in a big high school who gets picked on daily for no reason at all but who's got to keep her temper locked up like a tiger in a zoo or else...and, God, wouldn't that be wonderful if, just once, I could terrorize them instead of...except it wouldn't turn out wonderful. It would turn out with parents crying and candles outside the hospital and it's not like I'm not aware of what might happen if I lose control - not anymore - but I swear, I had no idea - I mean, how could I, how could anyone, and meanwhile, my best friend's...

I think I need to go.

Where's my flute? It's got to be around here someplace.

9 comments:

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Great post, Lily! And I'm not just saying that because I want to get on your good side. Although I DO want to get on your good side. I'm too young to, you know, have my soul ripped out.

High school is tough, but it'll get much better soon, so hang onto that.

Tell Josh I hope he feels better soon! (and now I want to read BENEATH. When is it available?)

Meredith Cole said...

The popcorn game sounds great, Lily. Only I don't have a dog to clean it all up, and I really, really like popcorn.

Thanks for subbing for Josh! And let us know when we can read about your adventures...

Shane Gericke said...

Lily, you SHOULD terrorize them. The people who pick on you, that is. Make them unhappy about picking on you, and they will leave you alone.

And if that doesn't work ...

Well, read Josh's books for ideas :-)

Seriously, it's great to see you here. Come back any time.

But leave my soul alone, please. I have such a small one to begin with ...

Reece said...

Josh (if you can hear me) -- I hope your play knocks 'em dead, figuratively speaking. I look forward to your return -- this Lily kid sort of creeps me out. No offense, Lily.

Kelli Stanley said...

Please tell Josh we hope he feels better, and thanks for substituting for him, Lily!

And if you ever want to, you know, let it go and take out a little of that anger, I hear that a lot of the people on reality shows have no soul at all ... especially Real Housewives of Orange County.

Just a thought. Hope you make first chair in band! :)

Gabi said...

A 15 year old who both knows and likes Clare de Lune. Lily, they are making them much smarter and more interesting than in my day, which granted wasn't exactly yesterday.

TracyK said...

Great post, Lily. We have a golden too. Might have to steal your popcorn game. Though if that means you have dibs on my soul, then deals off okay?

Michael Wiley said...

It's good to know that nothing has changed since I was in high school. Except the soul-ripping thing. We didn't do that.

Demon Lily said...

You all are so, so sweet!

And thanks for all these kind comments! I promise to try my best not to suck out any of your souls.

Even yours, Reece, despite the fact you called me creepy...

As to when BENEATH is coming out, well, that's really up to Josh, you know? And his agent Matt. And the publishers-type-people-folks that Matt sent it out to last week.

Yeah, I don't really know how it all works. I can barely pass chem.