Monday, July 18, 2011

A fresh face to kill...

Hello, all! Today I've invited a guest author, William Simon. He's a man to watch out for, not least because he is the owner and lead investigator for a licensed firm that specializes in computer forensics and security; his work has brought him into contact with some very interesting people, and their computers.

Clearly, we all want to stay on his cyber good side, so I would not recommend following this week's topic and picking him as "someone to kill." The consequences might make the News of the World scandal look infantile in comparison.

In addition to investigating computers, he's also a writer. His fiction has appeared in the anthology MURDER BY MAGIC, Suspense Magazine, and the forthcoming THRILLER 3 from ITW. His two novels, STREET HEAT and SOMETIMES, THERE REALLY ARE MONSTERS UNDER THE BED are now available for Kindle and Nook under his pseudonym ‘Will Graham’.

I apologize for posting this article without pictures, but my phone is only so talented and I'm still on tour for A GAME OF LIES. I'm en route from San Francisco to Portland, only two flights and already one selection for "special screening" where they put me in what looked like a bomb blast box and swabbed my palms nervously. Not sure what that was for, but nothing exploded and they let me back out again. Took awhile though, so I'm glad that the box had what looked like air holes drilled in the door.

After first changing all my passwords to randomly generated 13 character/number strings, I asked Will our question of the week:

“Of all the people you know, whom would be the hardest to kill?”

Here's his answer:

Thank you for having me here today, Rebecca. That is one hell of a question!

There is a guy I am acquainted with; I cannot say we’re friends in the traditional sense, but our paths have crossed professionally from time to time. He is currently working for the U.S. Government, so I cannot use his real name, but for this blog, let’s call him “Rick.” Like myself, one of his all-time favorite movies is CASABLANCA, so “Rick” is appropriate.

Rick is around 45 years old, and looking at him you’d never guess he’s spent the last 35 years of his life studying the martial arts. A very quiet individual, devoted to his wife and their three daughters, he looks more like an accountant than a Federal Agent.

One time over lunch, we talked about his studies, the years he had spent learning. He actually spent seven years in Japan (before he was married) under the tutelage of one of the most revered Masters in the world.

Over the course of the conversation, which involved a lot of single-entendré puns, I made the comment that, when confronted by any sort of martial arts, my single strongest defense was running. Running like hell.

Rick laughed, and asked why.

Pragmatism, I replied. A man like himself, who has studied formally and disciplined himself for over thirty years, who knows what he doing and how to do it, could take you out without taking off his jacket or mussing his hair. The amateur, the one who has learned from watching Bruce Lee movies for thirty years, well, he’ll kill someone by accident.

Rick thought about that for a moment, then laughed, and solemnly said, “You have learned well, Grasshopper.” My reply was completely unprintable, and we were off on bad jokes again.

Thanks, Will, for joining us, and best of luck with your books!


Anonymous said...

Wow, what a great post...and yes, I think that man would be very hard to kill!!!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful philosophy, Grasshopper. Er, I mean, William.

Here's to many glorious sales to you. And Rebecca, here's to no airport body scans.

Sheila said...

Unprintable? Will, you are such a tease. :)


William Simon said...

Thanks for coming by, Tess and Jenn and Sheila! When Rebecca told me this was the blog question, my first thought was 'huh'? Then I thought about it... and it is kind of intriguing....

Anonymous said...

I think it's a brilliant question and far more entertaining to read about than most interviews!!
Of course, wise grasshopper taught us a life lesson today that was also presented in the infamous Kenny Rodgers song..."You got to know when to fold them, know when to hold them..." Fold them and then get the hell out of Dodge!!

Meredith Cole said...

This is a very intriguing question, and I have to agree that running is a very good strategy. Thanks for being our guest today, William!

Melissa said...

Thanks for the laugh today, Will! I can see your face now. :) Best of Luck with your Books!!

Great Post! This just adds to the many reasons I hate to fly! LOL Hope the rest of your trip is peaceful!

William Simon said...

Stacey nailed it! Leaving Dodge is sometimes a good thing.

Thank you, Meredith, for inviting me. It was a fun blog to write!

Melissa, usually I explain I've spent my life studying an extremely obscure form of martial art called "Horo Neku"... which loosely translates to (you guessed it!) 'Run like hell!'..:)

William Simon said...

Speaking of crime-busting and solving, this has to be seen to be believed:

Proof positive that, when it comes to bravery, size really DOESN'T matter!

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Thanks for stopping by, Will! Love the decapitated avatar photo! Clearly some avatars are easier to kill than others.