Monday, August 15, 2011


Why do fools fall in love? That’s a question Anastasia Pollack has asked herself many times, ever since she discovered the man she married wasn’t who she thought he was. Now she’s in debt up the wazoo and has a loan shark breathing down her neck, thanks to her dead louse of a spouse. Will she ever be able to trust a man again? Let alone fall in love again? Those are also questions that plague her.

Scientists tell us that love is a chemical response and that it has nothing to do with our hearts, no matter how much we feel that muscle tearing apart when love dies. Psychologists tell us that love grows and changes. That initial rush of endorphins that brings a couple together is quite different from the feelings that couple will have for each other five, fifteen, or fifty years later.

There are three stages of love. The first is Romantic Love, and it’s all about physical and emotional attraction, infatuation, an altered state of consciousness. As the infatuation subsides and that initial rush of romantic love tempers, couples enter the second stage of love -- the Power Struggle. This is where all the problems in the relationship come to the forefront and couples struggle to make the relationship work. Some succeed; some don’t.

Those who do make it through the Power Struggle stage of a relationship enter Stage 3, Unconditional Acceptance. This is where we have come to accept our partners for who they are -- warts and all.

I’m not sure Anastasia and Karl would have been able to overcome Karl’s deceit, had he not died. There are some things that are unforgivable, and Anastasia would not be one of those “he done her wrong” wives who would stand by her man at the podium of public opinion while he uttered his mea culpas. Unlike some of the political wives we’ve seen of late, she’s not that big a fool. But maybe those political wives are wising up, too. Fewer and fewer of them are appearing at the podium lately.
Ex-congressman Anthony Weiner minus his wife

Lois Winston recently finished the third book in her Anastasia Pollack Crafting Mysteries series. The first book, Assault With A Deadly Glue Gun, was a January 2011 release and received starred reviews from both Publishers Weekly and Booklist. Death by Killer Mop Doll will be a January 2012 release. Visit Lois at and Anastasia at the Killer Crafts & Crafty Killers blog,


Liz V. said...

Enjoyed Assault With A Deadly Glue Gun, and await next to see whether the mother-in-law goes next. No chance for love with her in the mix.
Best wishes.

Lois Winston said...

LOL, Liz! Knock off Lucille?'ll have to wait until Jan. to find out. So glad you liked ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY GLUE GUN. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

jeff7salter said...

Let me know when that "power struggle" phase is supposed to end. I'm coming up on 41 years and I think we're stuck on phase two. LOL

Lois Winston said...

I think it's different for each couple, Jeff.

Camille Minichino said...

I like your Phases theory, Lois. Phase 3 comes as soon as we accept our own warts, I think.

Question: can your characters be in Phase 3, or is the struggle necessary for a good story?

Lee Lopez said...

This is a pretty interesting stages of love. Hmmm makes me stop and think about my own story, and life.