Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Why Do Fools Fall in Love?

By Tracy Kiely

Ahhh…the eternal question (right after who invented liquid soap and why). Minds greater than mine have tackled this theme throughout the years in poetry, prose, and verse. (Wait, is poetry the same as verse? It is, isn’t it? Never mind, you get the idea.)

The best I could come up with was big boobs and a fast car, depending on your perspective, of course. This, of course, is based after years of research (i.e. high school).

It also makes for a very short (though largely accurate) post.

So, instead, in keeping with the spirit of high school, I am giving a pop quiz!

My question to YOU, my dear students, is how well you know some of the greatest foolish loves of literature. (I’ve decided to skip the whole poetry/verse genre for obvious reasons.) So, see if you can match up the lovers below with their silly reasons for choosing their mates. All participants will receive my free short story, Battle of the Bonnets, in which Austen and Brontë fans duke it out over whose heroes are better (go to and sign up for the newsletter). The first participant to correctly pair each couple with their ill-fated reasons to hook up, will receive an advance copy of Verse For Idiots my latest book Murder Most Persuasive. Good luck!

The Couples:

A. Dolores Haze/Humbert Humbert

B. Marianne Dashwood/John Willouhby

C. Charlotte Lucas/Mr. Collins

D. Cathy Earnshaw/Heathcliff

E. Madame Bovary/Léon Dupuis

F. Scarlett O’Hara/Charles Hamilton

G. Bridget Jones/Daniel Cleaver

H. Rebecca/Maxim de Winter

I. Dulcinea del Toboso/Alonso Quixano

J. Lucie Manette/Sydney Carton

The Reasons:

1. Stability

2. Cool, psychotic behavior

3. Sweet nature and large forehead

4. Good looks and posh accent

5. Making your true love jealous

6. Beauty, Brains, Breeding (3B’s)

7. A love of nymphets

8. Personification of perfect woman

9. Good looks and views on poetry

10. Bordom


Meredith Cole said...

Oh, boy. If I'd known there was going to be a test, I would have called in sick! Does anyone know the large forehead one? All I remember about Rebecca was the scary housekeeper and wondering who could possibly be prettier than Joan Fontaine... They never did show a picture of the first wife.

Gabi said...

This is really hard and there isn't one answer that reads "What was I thinking?" or "Total brain cramp!" Which surprises me, really.

Gabi said...

I think the unnamed heroine of Rebecca is the personification of the perfect woman i.e. completely differently from Wife No. 1 (the crazy one with her creepy housekeeping sidekick).

Nancy J. Parra said...

Fun! too bad I don't have a clue. LOL~ My daughter on the other hands knows all~

TracyK said...

Meredith - They never did show a picture of Rebecca (well a quick painting shot of her). But - hint - she's beautiful, and educated and sick as hell. Sick=evil.

TracyK said...

Gabi - Second wife was SWEET - and never was given a name.

TracyK said...

And all - have a typo - go figure. It should be "POSH accent - not post." Will correct now.

TracyK said...

Gabi - sorry got cut off there. While second wife was sweet (as you noted) it's the reason Max married the FIRST wife, you need to answer. The BEAUTIFUL one. (subtle hint, eh?)