If I was really cool and tech savvy I would have little dancing Icons with our heads on them and the costumes we are wearing but - fortunately perhaps - I'm not.
Instead I will treat you to the 7crim version of the Star Wars Saga. I'll start with Becks whom so kindly turned me into an ascot wearing big man on campus - Fred from Scooby Doo. In return I get to dress Becky up as Princess Leia from Star Wars - don't worry Becks I'm not having impure thoughts. You are not the scantilly clad Princess Leia from the Jabba the Hutt scene in Return of the Jedi, but the pure, dressed in white Princess Leia from Episode 4 - which was actually movie 1 - the original. Not sure how we're going to get your hair like that but we'll bring lots of hair spray.
I can just See you confronting our Darth Vader - who would have to be Gary Phillips, partly because he reminds me of James Earl Jones and partly because he writes " ..." Now does that not sound like something James Earl Jones would say? FYI - I always thought if they let me cast Black Rain I wanted James Earl Jones to play McCarter. But if we cant afford him we'll be in touch with Gary's agent.
Not long after Becky's capture we meet R2-D2 and C-3PO - I must cast Lois as R2 because her book Assault with a Deadly Glue Gun sounds like something the resourceful little droid might do. I myself will play C-3PO because sometimes he rambles a lot and sometimes just needs to shut up and well... you get the idea.
After Lois and I crash on the planet Tatooine, go our separate ways and get captured by the Jawas, we are soon rescued from oblivion by Joshua Corin Skywalker - young farm boy and flying ace who longs for adventure among the stars. Josh has the boyish charm and I think he can pull off the 1977 Mark Hamill - the dont have barbers on Tatooine - hair.
Eventually Lois runs off - she's like that. Joshua and I go after her in his 57 chevy. We catch her - how she gets over all these rocks and cliffs with the little tiny wheels nobody really knows but she does - we then meet Obi Wan Ke-Stanley - known around here as Kelli - wise in the ways of the force and of DRAGONS and SECRETS.
Kelli teaches Joshua the ways of the force and takes us to LAX - I mean Mos Eisley - a wretched hive of scum and villainy. There we encounter Michael Wiley Solo - researching his next book Striptease in a Space Cantina and trying to get enough money together to pay off his publisher Jabba Imprints. And you thought your publisher was rough.
None of us are actually tall enough to play Chewbacca - not sure anyone wants to be Grand Moff Tarkington - former Vikings quarterback and now in charge of the Death Star and so the rest of you are stormtroopers or Rebel X-wing pilots with those cool Orange visors. Take your pick.
AND IF ANYONE is still reading - Happy Halloween.