Thursday, October 6, 2011

Ten Stories

Ten Stories I Promise Not to Write:

(1) She’s helpless and he victimizes her.

(2) The puppy is helpless and he victimizes it.

(3) They’re coming from Mars!

(4) She’s a vampire. (Not that I mind vampires, but Bekka Black already does them so well.)

(5) His hair is windblown, his eyes blue. She has feathered blond hair and wears a 44D bra.

(6) They’re trapped in a house and giant ants are coming through the doors and windows.

(7) He takes a driving tour through rural France and meets – and falls in love with – a petite woman who works in a cheese shop.

(8) He/she rips off her bodice, they kiss, and waves start crashing.

(9) This story is all about the message.

(10) Everyone lives happily ever after.


Ten Stories I Want to Write:

(1) When he tries to victimize her, she turns the tables on him.

(2) When he tries to victimize the puppy, the puppy bites off his fingers.

(3) They’re coming from Cleveland!

(4) She’s not a vampire, but she bites him anyway.

(5) He wears a 44D bra. She wears her black hair in a tight braid that drops to her waist, and she uses it to strangle bad guys. (See #1.)

(6) They’re trapped in a house and vicious people with the moral compass of giant ants are coming through the doors and windows.

(7) He’s on the lam outside Milwaukee and meets – and falls in love with – a petite woman who works in a cheese shop.

(8) They kiss, he fumbles taking off his pants, and she fumbles taking off hers.

(9) This story is all about the story.

(10) Everyone lives happily ever after, except for those who can’t or don’t or won’t.

Author of the Joe Kozmarski mysteries, Michael Wiley is shameless enough in real life to write about almost anything.

6 comments:

Thomas Pluck said...

I hope you write #5 first.

Michael Wiley said...

I'm afraid to say that there's a bit of #5 in just about everything I write, Thomas -- though I haven't put Joe Kozmarski in a bra yet and think it's unlikely that he'll wear one any time soon. On the other hand. . . .

Gabi said...

He wears a 44D bra? You are always such a surprise and we should talk...

Go puppies!

Michael Wiley said...

Ha -- and I always like to talk with you, Gabi, and it's been awhile.

lil Gluckstern said...

Keep on doing what you're doing; just don't get bored. I'm enjoying your books very much.

Michael Wiley said...

Thanks, Lil!