Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Going to be tough to top Becky's post - sex, alien abduction, plus plumbing all in the same post. Has to be one of the best ever.

So I will take us from the sublime to the ridiculous.

I suppose the the worst panel question ever would be something like: "Which one of your fellow panel members was drunk last night at the hotel bar?"

Now, this is not a bad question solely for reasons of personal privacy or not wanting to step on anyone's toes but also because, lets face it - I was probably too intoxicated to really do a head count and in all likely hood the answer is "D" - all of the above.

Second worst question would be something like - "In your novel Space Babes 5 you had Zena take off all her clothes before tackling the jello monster - why?"

To which the answer must be something like - "How the hell did you know I was the creator of the Space Babe franchise?!"

Third worst question would have to be the one that goes like this "Waaa WHaaa Hooo Whaa ha WHa?" (That's my attempt at making Charlie Brown noises from when the adults talk.) That's what it sounds like when you're soooo tired from closing down the bar the night before and can barely stay awake and why are there 7:00 am panels anyway?

To which my answer is - "How the hell did you know I was the creator of the Space Babe frnachise? And yes everyone was drunk - all of the above, "D". Does that cover it?"

Which is usually followed by the moderator saying. "I'm sorry Mr. Brown that question was for the other candidates." To which I say "other candidates." To which they say - "Yes this is the 19th Republican debate." To which I say - "oh hell I'm in the wrong ballroom," usually followed by the sound of me running and some form of "Don't Tase me Bro!" I don't remember anything after that.

Forth worst question would be asking me the one that you already asked the other three panelists. Seriously - I don't know what I can add to the the fifteen minutes we've already spent discussing the difference between backslash and forward slash but I'm sure my fellow literary partners have covered it sufficiently and truth be told I don't even know which one is which anyway.

Fifth worst question is actually not a bad one - I saw it asked on a philosophy test once - the entire test consisted of one question, in fact it was one word.

The question was "Why?"

And since it wasn't multiple choice and I couldn't pick "D" - "All of the above" - I offer this as the best answer I can come up with: "Because."

Hey, it worked when I was seven.



Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

Graham, You had me at "Don't Tase me Bro!" And I did not know you were the creator of Space Babes. Though now that I think about it, why not? (My pat answer to "why?")

Rebecca Cantrell said...

YOU created Space Babes? I think that might deserve a tase in and of itself.

I think you might do a better job at the Republican debates than you think, even hungover. After all, you just used the word slash in a sentence. Twice.

Graham Brown said...

I like you're answer to the question Sue. That's perfect. "Why not?"

Graham Brown said...

Yes Becky I must admit Space Babes was one of my first gifts to the literary/reading world.

Kelli Stanley said...

So Graham, when you write Space Babes, do you outline?

OK, I just tasered myself ...


Graham Brown said...

Outline? Ha ha ha ha. Umm... actually I do. Too funny Kelli. Got to be careful with those Tasers very dangerous.

Gabi said...

Do you ever feel like answering "D" all of the above randomly?