I guess the first question I don't want to have asked is "Why are you late?'
Unless I have a fantastic answer involving meetings with TV producers or the long line cashing in my lottery check or an explanation of how I finally sorted out that difficult scene and just had to keep going. But it's more likely I'll have an answer like "I overslept" or "I forgot" which is just so terrible I will have to resort to a lie involving alien abductions and a horse.
Question Two probably involves sex scenes which I'm squirmy talking about and writing. I mean, I've obviously had sex, thought about sex, and written about sex. None of that means that I'm not going to blush on the panel.
Question Three is always about some terrible atrocity that I have the answer honestly and with historical accuracy and details. This brings the room right down and leaves me ending on "but it's not ALL bleak."
Question Four is about something that has nothing to do with my book or me and was clearly meant for some other panelist, maybe someone with extensive knowledge of plumbing.
And Question Five comes back to the very first panel I ever did and asks about how to extract sperm from a corpse.
There you go! Around the questions in 5 paragraphs!
Sorry I'm late. Thanks for waiting!