Saturday, December 31, 2011
Imitating Michael, Here’s My 12 Resolutions for 2012
1. Be like Kim. Did I mention Ms. Kardasian is getting 600 grand just to be at a nightclub in Vegas for New Year’s Eve? Damn. This at a time when at least one bookstore, I’ve heard, will start charging mid-listers for the privilege of doing a book signing. Damn.
2. No more Fight Club. Seeing double way too much – though not on my checks. See Number One.
3. Don’t cry about missing Fight Club. No, really, don’t cry.
4. Write the Herman Cain Story, to star Danny Glover in the title role and a robot or bleached scarecrow, as Ann Coulter.
5. I would say what Mike said in his second resolution, only with the crowd I run with, that might get misinterpreted quite easily...if you catch my meaning.
6. Not that there’s anything wrong with Number Six in its reference.
7. Knock back a little Jack and play some Hubert Sumlin, David “Honeyboy” Edwards and Clarence Clemmons -- and light a candle for Etta James.
8. Pray that Nic Cage does Drive Angry II and not get more hair extensions to do Season of the Witch II.
9. Won’t be envious of Kim.
10. Read all of B. Traven’s works.
11. More gym, less fries.
12. Be happy, happy, joy, joy.