Saturday, December 31, 2011

Imitating Michael, Here’s My 12 Resolutions for 2012


1. Be like Kim. Did I mention Ms. Kardasian is getting 600 grand just to be at a nightclub in Vegas for New Year’s Eve? Damn. This at a time when at least one bookstore, I’ve heard, will start charging mid-listers for the privilege of doing a book signing. Damn.

2. No more Fight Club. Seeing double way too much – though not on my checks. See Number One.

3. Don’t cry about missing Fight Club. No, really, don’t cry.

4. Write the Herman Cain Story, to star Danny Glover in the title role and a robot or bleached scarecrow, as Ann Coulter.

5. I would say what Mike said in his second resolution, only with the crowd I run with, that might get misinterpreted quite easily...if you catch my meaning.

6. Not that there’s anything wrong with Number Six in its reference.

7. Knock back a little Jack and play some Hubert Sumlin, David “Honeyboy” Edwards and Clarence Clemmons -- and light a candle for Etta James.

8. Pray that Nic Cage does Drive Angry II and not get more hair extensions to do Season of the Witch II.

9. Won’t be envious of Kim.

10. Read all of B. Traven’s works.

11. More gym, less fries.

12. Be happy, happy, joy, joy.

6 comments:

Michael Wiley said...

We could put ours together, Gary, and we would be set through 2024. I'll miss Etta James and I love the idea of more joy and joy.

600K for a nightclub appearance? That bruises my joy before we even get started.

Gary Phillips said...

I hear you, Michael.

Reece said...

Gary -- Bookstores charging mid-list authors for appearances? Now there's an idea that I really don't like.

And I think Nic Cage wore those same hair extensions in The Sorcerer's Apprentice. Sometimes I think he just lets the hair do the acting for him.

Gary Phillips said...

Reece that's it, the secret to Cage's acting...he works out the hairstyle and he's off to the races.

Rebecca Cantrell said...

600k? *gulp*

I guess that's what the market will *sigh* bear.

I guess Plan B is to get some hair extensions and start my acting career.

Happy New Year, Gary and everyone!

Gary Phillips said...

Happy New Year, Rebecca, and indeed everyone else!