Monday, December 26, 2011

Those $#*@ Resolutions

by Sue Ann Jaffarian

Every year, people make New Year's Resolutions. Every year, most of them are broken before the end of January.

Some of my recent past resolutions:

Lose weight - didn't happen.
Balance my check book faithfully - didn't happen, though I have been better about it in the past few months.
Work out regularly - lasted 2 months, a new personal record.
Read more - I'm seriously trying to make this happen, hoping my new Kindle will help.
Clean out my bedroom closet - like losing weight, this made the resolutions list several years with about the same progress.

Considering my track record, I wasn't going to make any resolutions this year, but that ship sailed when I read this week's question. So here is my one and only New Year's Resolution for 2012.

[drum roll, please]

I hereby resolve to curtail my swearing, particularly my use of the F-bomb.

I may write mysteries with few to no swear words, but truth be told, I can and do swear like a drunken sailor with Turrets. Funny thing is, I don't recall swearing much until I hit my late 30's-early 40's. After that it was Potty-Mouth Is In The House, especially when I'm pissed off.  Oops, sorry. I mean, especially when I am angered.  Then again it's not January yet, is it?

So between now and January 1, don't be surprised if all the curse words I've learned in my life bubble out of me like lava under pressure. I'll just be getting them all out before my resolution hears the starting gun.


gregkshipman said...

Go at it, Sue Ann... new year resolutions are a good thing. Making them reminds us that failure is an option.

In the past my resolutions are but attractions for my guilt which hovers over me like an impatient vulture knowing within weeks the 'resolution' will lie prostate, near death and ready for consumption.

Now I no longer suffer because my newer relgion forbids resolutions. My new religion? Its called 'Reality'.

Do unto resolutions as they do unto you!

L.J. Sellers said...

I've sworn off of swearing a few times too, but it comes back worse every time I do. So I quit worrying about it, unless the kids are around.

My resolutions this year are simple:
Worry less
Promote less
Eat less
Dance/play more
Read more
Write more

Happy New Year and best wishes in 2012!