Tuesday, February 7, 2012

My Life in Song

by Josh

(with links scattered throughout)

Once upon a time, and a lucky time it was, a boy named Josh was born in the gigantic state of Rhode Island. He was a baby and then he grew up, although not by much. He loathed school but loved writing and the TV. He especially enjoyed the Creature Double Feature which played on Saturday afternoons and the Dialing-for-Dollars B-Movie Extravaganza which played on weekday mornings.

As time passed, he somehow acquired three siblings, a sister and two brothers. He also somehow acquired a fondness for school which replaced his previous loathing. Around this time, he discovered the novels of Stephen King; these in particular infected him with a sinister joy.

He matriculated to the slightly smaller state of New York, which he attended college in Binghamton and gained many friends, several enemies, and one nasty case of mononucleosis. While there, he wrote dozens of plays, ignoring the cries of the masses begging him to desist. He also began work on a screenplay entitled Windfall, which magically won first place in the Open Door Contest co-sponsored by Script Magazine and Dimension Films.

After Binghamton, he lazed down to New York City, worked on Broadway for a spell, and then taught language arts at a special needs yeshiva in Brooklyn. All the while, he subsisted on ramen noodles and hot dogs. He could afford more - these were simply the only meals he knew how to cook. In late 2004, he moved down to Atlanta, Georgia, to be with his family. Four years later, he published his first novel, Nuclear Winter Wonderland, an ode to the bizarre that in no way whatsoever was a reflection of the four years he had now spent with his family. Subsequent novels included While Galileo Preys and Before Cain Strikes.

He now teaches at Georgia Perimeter State College, which used to be called Georgia Perimeter College but eventually manifested a bit of a Louis XIV complex, as has been known to occur. He has been named Campus Professor of the Year by his college newspaper, has won multiple fellowships, and has had seven students so far try to save his soul through prayer. He doesn't believe in God, but he does have a nephew and two nieces and they are as close to the divine as he could ever want or need.


Rebecca Cantrell said...

Hold music for the blog? You are a genius, Josh! I'm doing that the next time I slack off!

Jaden Terrell said...

Oh my. Thank you for this intricate and informative post. Enjoyed the videos very much.