Monday, March 26, 2012

Proust Vs. Hulk



By Reece Hirsch

This week, I’ve invited a guest blogger to answer the Age 20 Proust Questionnaire – The Incredible Hulk.  While the Hulk is actually 50 years old, I thought he would be well-suited to the famous questionnaire because his emotional maturity level plateaued at a fairly young age.  This is an abridged version of the questionnaire because Hulk grew a little impatient with the questions.

Your most marked characteristic?

Proust:  A craving to be loved, or, to be more precise, to be caressed and spoiled rather than to be admired.

Hulk:  Anger.  Hulk very angry.  Hulk working on it, though.

The quality you most like in a man?

Proust:  Feminine charm.

Hulk:  Hulk like a man who stay calm, not make Hulk angry.

What do you most value in your friends?

Proust:  Tenderness - provided they possess a physical charm which makes their tenderness worth having.

Hulk: A sense of humor most important quality for Hulk.  That and super-strength.

What is your principle defect?

Proust:  Lack of understanding; weakness of will.

Hulk:  Hulk already talk about his anger management issues.  Hulk starting not to like all these questions.

What is your dream of happiness?

Proust:  Not, I fear, a very elevated one. I really haven't the courage to say what it is, and if I did I should probably destroy it by the mere fact of putting it into words.

Hulk:  Better film adaption would make Hulk happy, but Hulk not optimistic.  As critic once said, “You wouldn’t like me when I’m Ang Lee.”

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?

Proust:  Never to have known my mother or my grandmother.

Hulk:  Gamma ray accident.  And since that already happen to Hulk and Hulk live, every day a gift.

In what country would you like to live?

Proust:  One where certain things that I want would be realized – and where feelings of tenderness would always be recriprocated.

Hulk:  New Zealand.

What is your favorite color?

Proust:  Beauty lies not in colors but in their harmony.

Hulk:  You kidding Hulk, right?

Who are your favorite prose writers?

Proust:  At the moment, Anatole France and Pierre Loti.

Hulk:  Stan Lee.

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?

Proust: Phedre (crossed out) Berenice.

Hulk:  Hulk have to go with his cousin, She-Hulk.  Hulk all about family.

What natural gift would you most like to possess?

Proust:  Will power and irresistible charm.

Hulk:  Hulk has given this lot of thought.   Hulk would like to be able to shoot super-destructive lasers from his eyes.

What is your present state of mind?

Proust:  Annoyance at having to think about myself in order to answer these questions.

Hulk:  To be totally frank, Hulk a little angry right now.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?

Proust:  Those that I understand.

Hulk:  Hulk very sensitive to plight of people with radiation-created superpowers.  Hulk recently formed a 501(c)(3) to help.  Website coming soon.

What is your motto?

Proust:  I prefer not to say, for fear it might bring me bad luck.

Hulk:  Hulk no like being defined by motto or catch phrase.  Hulk so much more than that.  But if Hulk have to answer question -- Hulk Smash!

4 comments:

lil Gluckstern said...

What a funny way to start the week. Even Hulk has feelings ;)

Reece said...

Thanks for stopping by and Hulking out, Lil!

Hilary Davidson said...

Reading this late, Reece, but I had to tell you how hard you made me laugh. Thanks for a great post!

Reece said...

Thanks, Hilary! I hope you're having a blast on your book tour!