Sunday, May 13, 2012

It's a (Superhuman, Demon-Hunting) Girl!

by Chris F. Holm (who would like to remind those reading this the question of the day is, "Who is the lovechild of your protagonist and favorite herione?" Without such foreknowledge, what follows may make even less sense than it does.)

An Announcement:

Samuel Thornton, late of hell, 
and Buffy Summers, of Sunnydale, California (also, briefly, heaven)
would like to welcome their first child, Nora Summers Thornton into the world.

Nora weighs 6lbs, 4oz, can bench-press 400 times her own body weight,
and has - if his sudden, occasional penchant for bottles and binkies is any indication - demonstrated the ability to transiently possess their mailman, Bob.

Nora's godmother, Lilith, is the embodiment seduction itself, and the font from which all incubi and succubi sprang, which is awkward for Nora's mother, a sworn slayer of the vampyre. Her godfather, Andrew, was once a supervillain. He got better.

In lieu of gifts, the happy couple asks that you all kindly stop making deals with and/or conjuring demons, as they're both short on sleep as it is. You wouldn't believe how loud
a superhuman baby can cry. And nursing, 
Ms. Summers would like it to be known,
is no picnic, either.

3 comments:

Hilary Davidson said...

Best birth announcement EVER. This is hilarious, Chris!

Chris said...

Aw, shucks. I aim to please.

Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

Hysterical!