Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Meet My Assistant

by Vicki Delany

Do you remember way back in the 50s and 60s when they told us that the “housewife” of the future wouldn’t have to do any housework because her robot maid would do it all?  What happened to that anyway?
I guess it went the way of so much leisure time we wouldn’t know what do to with it all.

Now that I’ve reached the pinnacle of my writing career and making so much money (well that’s what the question of the week assumes, isn’ it?) that I can hire an assistant, I have to decide what I want him or her to do.

None of my writing.  I am not James Patterson. I want to WRITE the books I sell under my name. Same goes for my blog posts here at 7 Criminal Minds and other places I guest at.

None of my personal promotion.  I love giving talks in libraries or to book clubs and meeting readers in stores.

None of my facebooking or tweeting.  Same as writing the books: if it has my name on it, I want to be the one to have said it.

Lining up appearances?  That would be nice. I like doing book singings but hate organizing them.  

Okay, so my assistant can organize my public appearances. 

That’ll take about one week a year. Then what?

Doing my housework? Gardening? Washing the car?

Now we’re getting somewhere.  I’d love not to have to do all that pesky stuff.  I’ll hire an assistant to do it for me.

Except… I might be the only 7 Minder that has had a maid.  I lived in South Africa for many years.  Almost every middle-class household in South Africa has at least one servant.  Houses come with servants’ quarters.  I didn’t really like having a maid, believe it or not.  Maybe I’m too Canadian, but it was like an intrusion in my privacy to have someone in my house all the time.  

So maybe, I don’t want a maid after all.

Not a PERSON maid anyway.

I’ll use my massive royalties to get a maid just like the Jetsons had. A robot, something I can switch off when it’s finished for the day, or yell at and not worry about their feelings.

Maybe it’ll have some good plot ideas too.

Only two more weeks until the release of More than Sorrow!  Library Journal gave the book a STARRED review calling it, “A splendid Gothic Thriller.” Now available for pre-order. Click here to check it out: Vicki Delany


IYamVixen2 said...

I would love a robot maid, but she'd have to have special padding on her wheels to keep from scuffing the wood floors or DH would have a fit. He lurves his wood floors.
We had a cleaning service a few years ago, but it was so honkin' expensive and we found ourselves cleaning up for the cleaners, we bowed out after a while. I use my breaks to clean house. I clean in peace and quiet as I feel the yen to clean. Then take a reading break, clean a little, read a little....or a lot....
I love my garden, playing in the dirt. Not crazy about weeding, but I love putting plants in the dirt. Oh, I remembered I need to do some deadheading....

Vicki Delany said...

You have a good attitude to household chores, IYam... Me, I never feel the yen to clean.

Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

I gotta get me a Rosie!!!

Diana James, who passed in January, did all of my event organization, book marks, ads, etc., and with a new book coming out any day now, I've had to do it all myself this time. WOW! What a time suck! I had forgotten.

Meredith Cole said...

A robot maid... Sounds lovely, Vicki!

And congrats on your new book and great review!

Vicki Delany said...

Thanks Meredith. And Sue Ann, I can't imagine much worse than having someone to do it all, and then they stop!