Monday, September 23, 2013

A Writer Meets A Reader


By Susan Shea
 
[Sounds of wine being poured into glasses, people laughing, one loud voice getting closer and closer. Sound of gurgling as author takes a swig from wine glass.]
 
“Hey there. We haven’t met. You’re the writer, right? A writer! I always wanted to do that.”
 
“Oh, have you written anything?”
 
“Well, no, but I have a great idea for a book.”
 
“Fiction?”
 
“A story, you know, like ‘CSI Miami.’”
 
“Aha. You’ve lived in Florida?”
 
“No, but I don’t think that’s important, do you?”
 
“Maybe not. After all, Ray Bradbury never lived in space.”
 
“Huh?”
 
“Why CSI? Do you have some experience with forensics? It’s such a fascinating field, and changing so rapidly.”
 
“Only what I see on TV, but I’m sure that’s plenty. In my story, the female CSI gets captured by a serial killer when she gets home from a job and is just about to get in the shower. She doesn’t know he’s a serial killer right away, but he has tattoos on his arm that have the names of the women he’s killed and the dates, but it’s in code and she has to break the code before he locks her in the basement. I think it would make a great movie too. That’s where the money is, right? But enough about me. What do you write? Are you famous?”
 
“I write traditional mysteries and, no, sorry to say I’m not famous. My series is about a fundraiser for an art museum – ”
 
“ – maybe your books are too expensive. I only buy used print books and my rule is I never pay more than 99 cents for books online. There are thousands of books you can get for e-readers, a whole lot of them are even free. Now, I’m not saying they’re all good, you know, but, hey, for free, why not try them? Who’s your favorite author?”
 
“There are so many wonderful crime fiction writers working today.  Have you read anything by – ” 
 
“I can never remember names except for Dan Brown, of course. He is really famous, and rich. Have you thought about writing in his style? That would definitely make you lots of money. Well, listen, it was great to meet a real author. Just promise you won’t steal my story idea, okay? One of these days, when I have the time, I’m going to write it, or maybe hire someone to ghost write it, you know?”

7 comments:

Terry Shames said...

Oh, wait, I think I met this guy a couple of weeks ago. He gets around a lot!

Gram said...

I'm a retired RN. This guy was the one who thought he would be a great MD, too!

Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

I get this a lot, too. But what I really hate is this response when I say I'm a writer: "Isn't everyone these days?"

Meredith Cole said...

I met that guy, too, Terry! But usually they want me to write their idea so they don't have to...

Welcome to the blog, Susan!

Alan Orloff said...

Welcome to the blog, Susan! You'll fit right in around here.

Susan C Shea said...

He really gets around, doesn't he?! Sue Ann, you're right? He has probably taken the wind out of more than one professional's sails with that comment, too. Thanks, Alan. You mean I'm just another masochist! ;-)

Vicki Delany said...

Sigh...