Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Summertime and the living is easy*

By Tracy Kiely
* easy is used in a wholly sarcastic manner.

Oh, to put down my pen and paper and take the summer off. But alas, my dear readers, I cannot. At this time of year my fellow writers gleefully shrug off their comfortable writing garb and don their linen frocks and sport coats in search of tennis games, picnics, and long walks along the beach. I, however, must remain behind, watching them disappear down a winding meadow lane, my grubby nose pressed up enviously against window.
I might want to make a note to lay off rereading of Fitzgerald and Dickens.
The reason for my lack of summer break is quite simple. I am forever behind schedule. My mother once told me that the road to hell was paved with good intentions and that I was going there on the expressway. She wasn’t exaggerating.
I have long lived with a demon that ruins all my plans. Unlike most demons who hide in the darkness and guard their name for fear of discovery and a subsequent loss of power, mine has a name. And that name is Yesterday Tracy.
Yesterday Tracy is always one step ahead of Today Tracy. She is a wily, evil beast. Today Tracy is forever behind schedule because of the actions of Yesterday Tracy. Today Tracy might have plans to write 2,000 words, but Yesterday Tracy decided that it was Imperative that she stays up until 3 a.m. watching Grease II.
Yes. Grease II.
I told you she was evil.
She also has really lousy taste.
She gleefully tricks Today Tracy into thinking that this decision will only hurt Tomorrow Tracy not Today Tracy.
And Today Tracy listens.
Every damn time.
And so, rather than springing out of bed full of vim and vigor (a sensation, by the way, I have never experienced), I roll out of bed rubbing blood shot eyes and desperately hoping to get the song “We’re Gonna Score Tonight!” out of my head.  
Thus, I start every day hopelessly behind schedule and must spend the remainder of the day feeling like a desperate hamster spinning on its Sisyphus-inspired wheel.
So, do I take the summer off?
No. I do not.
For Yesterday Tracy is a powerful demon.


RJ Harlick said...

I'm afraid I am a master at procrastination too. Good post, Tracy.

Alan Orloff said...

I think all your Tracys need a stern talking-to from Next Week Tracy.

Susan C Shea said...

So THAT'S who I have to send to her room with no dinner if I can find her.