Sunday, April 10, 2011

Pick Up Cards - Think It Will Catch On?

This week’s blog topic, pick-up lines, really stymied me. It’s not that I haven’t heard any or used any, but, truthfully, it’s been awhile. And thinking back over the books I’ve written, I don’t recall using any that stood out. I must agree with Gary, that the best pick up lines are more about witty banter than a single sleazy remark.  Though I do remember once, a long, long, long time ago, in a bar far, far, far away, a man once told me he was packing 10 inches.  I asked him if he was talking about his IQ and assured him the kids on the short bus would only tease him a little. The guy bought me a drink anyway.

When I was first published, a man I met at one of my signings e-mailed me several naked photos of himself.  Non-requested or encouraged, I assure you. In spite of the impressive nature of his “IQ,” I gently advised him that his behavior was inappropriate.

Until Thursday, it seemed this was all I had on this blog topic, then like manna from heaven, a blog posting dropped into my lap.  Or rather the chair next to me at the Romantic Times Convention just finishing up in downtown Los Angeles.

For those of you not familiar with the RT annual convention, every year they have a Mr. Romance contest where about 7 or 8 hunky men vie for the title of Mr. Romance and a chance to model for the cover of a romance novel. On Thursday, while I was seated at a table waiting for the Mystery Chix and Dix breakfast to start, a young man in a very tight black tee shirt plunked himself down next to me and started chatting me up.  I recognized him right away as Scott V., one of the Mr. Romance contestants. Seems all the contestants were working the room, trying to drum up votes, and I was Scott’s current target. (What can I say, I’m a stud-magnet.)

Soon after he sat down, Scott produced a postcard of himself wearing only jeans and a cowboy hat and asked if I wanted his autograph. My initial response was to ask him if he wanted my autograph on one of my books he was sure to purchase. But quickly, I slapped a chastity belt on my smart ass mouth.  “Sure,” I said, flashing him a dopey smile.

As I write this, I’m studying this sexy autographed photo. On the back are Scott’s stats such as height, weight, and measurements (cough, cough… not all measurements), his e-mail address and even a phone number. I’m looking at this and thinking maybe this is a pretty smart marketing tool for us older singles, because frankly, getting out there is simply too exhausting and time consuming.  Just hand out the card with your stats. If someone’s interested, they can contact you.  After all, we promote our books this way, don't we?

Think about it. It would be less demanding than hitting a bar and trying to come up with a witty remark that would probably bomb, and it would save the recipient the awkwardness of rejecting your efforts if he were so inclined. And it would be a lot more personal than an online dating service, where everyone knows the photos were taken 10-20 years ago before the guy did prison time. You’d have your target in sight. You’d know what you were getting physically.  Hand him the card and let him make up his own mind, preferably at a later time when alcohol was not involved. Or maybe in this case, alcohol is a good thing. Who knows.

Name: Sue Ann Jaffarian
Occupation: Novelist
Height: 5’1”
Weight: None of your damn business
Measurements: You blind?
Age: An immature 58
Interests: Men 48-65 yrs old, non-Republican, who like cats, are self-sufficient, not easily offended, and don’t mind a woman who speaks her mind and has a potty mouth.

Want my autograph?

Sue Ann Jaffarian
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Meredith Cole said...

Great photo, Sue Ann! I like your idea. I think it would work well for all those "speed dating" events. My favorite one I heard of lately is speed dating at the library. At least they know they're going to end up talking to a fellow book lover...

Unknown said...

Ha!! Pick-up cards, cute concept!

Leave it to you to be hangin' with all the cute hunks at Romantic Times. You are such a meat-magnet!