Monday, September 5, 2011

Four Protags In Search of One Tequila Story

by Sue Ann Jaffarian

Tell your/your protag's never gonna drink Tequila again story.
I posed this question to my protagonists and asked one of them to volunteer to spill their guts for this post.  The three mystery protags took a step backwards in unison, leaving the non-mystery lead character to take the heat. 
Madison Rose (of the vampire mysteries):  “I don’t drink, remember?”
Emma Whitecastle (of the Granny Apples series):  “And I seldom drink anything except wine and beer, and Granny’s a ghost, she doesn’t drink at all.”
Odelia (the paralegal sleuth): “I’m pretty much the same as Emma. Never have been much on the hard stuff beyond once in a while.  Geez, Sue Ann, you’d think you’d know that since you created us all.”
It was true, and while each have their individual flaws, none of them have a tequila story worth telling.  I was beginning to think I was going to have to confess my own when Emma offers a suggestion.
Emma: “How about the new girl, Zelda?”
Odelia eyes Zelda: “Yeah, she seems the type to have a lot of lost-weekend tales.”

Madison: “Well, you would, too, if you had her dysfunctional family.”
Odelia: “Now that you mention it, Emma seems to be the only one here without a screwed-up family.” 
Odelia turns to me: “How did that happen?”
3rd Holidays From Hell story -
to be released this week

I shrug: “Luck of the draw, I guess.”

Before I'm peppered with any more questions I don't want to answer, I turn to Zelda Bowen, the 30-year-old, single female  protagonist of my Holidays From Hell short story series. “So, Zelda, do you have a tequila story to share?”  
Zelda crosses her arms in front of her: “You know I do, but before I spill, what’s in it for me?”
Me:  “What do you want?”
Zelda: “I want to kiss Luis Alvarez in an upcoming story. A long hot kiss, tongue and all.”
Me: “Deal.”
Madison: “Damn, I wouldn’t mind kissing him myself.”
Odelia turns to Madison in disgust: “Aren’t two hot vampires and a beater lusting after you enough?”
Emma: “Leave Madison alone, Odelia. You have a super-hot husband.”
Madison: “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind kissing him either.”
Odelia: “You so much as look at my husband, Madison Rose, and I’ll drain your blood myself.”
Before a cat fight breaks out, I turn the floor over to Zelda Bowen:  “Take it away, Zelda.”
Zelda clears her throat:  “It was my 30th birthday. My girlfriend Marcy and I went to Cabo to celebrate. The second night we fell in with a group of people visiting from Wisconsin. You know, real cheese heads. Anyway, right after dinner we started drinking tequila shots and sangria. That was around 10 pm. The next thing I remember, I was swimming in the ocean with about two dozen people. It was almost dawn and we were all naked. I haven’t touched tequila since.”
Madison, Emma and Odelia looked at each other, but it was Odelia who piped up:  “And?”
Zelda: “And what?”
Madison: “There has to be more juicy details than that.”
Zelda jerks a thumb in my direction:  “Ask her, she’s the writer.”

The Holidays From Hell short stories are available for $0.99 each for both Nook and Kindle e-readers.

Win a copy of WHERE'S YOUR DADDY? by posting a comment to this post.  You must post before Midnight Tuesday, Sept. 6th, to be eligible.  Two winners will be drawn. Please include your e-mail address.


Diane from Texas said...

I love that your protagonists talk to each other! My friend is a writer, and when she was stuck recently, she had a meeting with her protagonists, and they gave her plenty of suggestions.

You writers are so awesome!

And, Sue Ann, I LOVE your books! :)

San said...

Sue Anne, love all of your books, hope I win a copy of your book.

Jackie Heydari said...

I always thought a story with all your characters in it would make a good read!

Rebecca Cantrell said...

Funny piece, Sue Ann!

Glad to hear that one of your characters managed to scrape together a good tequila story before things got out of hand.

I'm sure grateful that this is Josh's week. Hannah doesn't drink...tequila.

Lorri Young said...

Love all your books, Sue Ann. Can't wait to read the new one! :)

Reece said...

Fun post, Sue Ann! You have so many books and series going that I guess that it was inevitable that your protagonists would start talking to each other!

Dru said...

What a tease! I can't wait to read more about Zelda and her family.

Sue Ann Jaffarian said...

And the winners of WHERE'S YOUR DADDY? are Lorri Young and Dru! Ladies, I'll be sending you a copy of the short story later today or tomorrow.

Thanks for your comments, everyone!