Friday, September 30, 2011

Revealing everything and getting naked

by Meredith Cole

So I was chuckling over the posts from fellow authors this week about their embarrassing naked moments, until a comment from Gabi caught me eye. She's said she was glad that she wasn't posting this week. Uh-oh. We share Fridays. That means, gulp, that I'm up this week. So I need a naked story--fast.

I could toss off my clothes and streak through my neighborhood in the hopes that something exciting happened that I could write about. But I'm honestly too lazy and we have too many mosquitoes here. I'd really rather use my imagination. Maybe I could just pretend to do it and then tell you later that my neighbor was taking out the trash and screamed when she saw me, or that a car slowed down when its lights rested on me and I had to dive into the bushes, or I almost got caught by the cops and had to take evasive maneuvers and run through a back alley...

I have to say that being naked is not one of my personal hang-ups. I grew up with hippies -- need I say more? I know that lots of people regularly dream that they're out in public and then they look down and notice they have no pants on or something. I have never had that dream. Perhaps this means that I do not fear ridicule or something. Or perhaps this just means that I've never forgotten to wear my pants. (I routinely dream that I'm falling off tall structures, but that's another story).

So... funny naked stories... let me see. Got it.

I've just moved back to my hometown after twenty years away exploring the big wide world. I'm at the public pool changing out of my swimsuit after swimming laps, when I look over and see my high school history teacher naked by a locker. A more tactful and more easily embarrassed person might at this point have pretended I hadn't spotted her, and pulled on some clothes before I said hello. But not me. "Hello, Nancy!" I called out (I went to a progressive school where we called our teachers by their first names). She peered at me for a moment before she said, "Oh Meredith! How are you?" Luckily she only seemed only slightly taken aback. And we caught up while we got dressed.

The fact is, when you swim as often as I do and spend time in locker rooms, you become a little less embarrassed about meeting someone you know while naked. It's bound to happen sooner or later (and especially in a small town). So I feel a little bit of pity for the women who feel like they have to change in the bathroom stall (very unsanitary) or bring a giant towel from home to wrap up in. Life is too short to stress out like that.

I think the real mystery for me is why people who aren't considered traditionally "beautiful" are the ones who always want to get naked on nude beaches and nudist colonies -- and why gorgeous men and women are embarrassed to have their bodies seen because they are convinced they're ugly (thighs too fat, blah, blah)? Perhaps nudists can teach us to be kinder to ourselves and not be so afraid of making mistakes or appearing "bare" in public.

I just have one small piece of advice for those going naked: use some sun screen and don't put the pix on Facebook, or the above shot is sure to happen to you (and appear on someone's blog).

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great story. I too swim for fun and recreation - about three times each week - at the local community college. The locker room has the open, communal showers, and I've always wondered why a small percentage of the women, girls leave their swim suit on to shower. Over the years I've showered with other women from my neighborhood and their girls, along with my own girls and their friends. The hardest part is when you first remove your swimsuit, but after that its no big deal.