Tuesday, February 21, 2012

How to Seduce Me

by Josh

First: be limber.

No, silly, not physically limber. I can barely touch my toes, and that's when I'm sitting. Although now that you mention it, if you are physically limber, that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's always good to have someone handy who can touch my toes.

What I meant by "limber," of course, is verbal dexterity. I enjoy conversations which are more than mere variations on "how was your day" and "what do you want for dinner" and "should that really be green?" Tickle me with your allusions; thrill me with your paraprosdokians.

Yeah, I may be a bit of an intellectual elitist and I hope you are too. If music be the fruit of love, language has to be at least the pizza.

Second: be open-minded. If you want to mix up your Dickens with Danielle Steele, have at it. I won't judge - and I hope you won't judge me when I mix up my Shakespeare with Stephen King. See, Plato was wrong. Being judgmental is actually counter-intuitive to intellectualism; intellectuals should have enough wisdom to know better.


Rebecca Cantrell said...

Nicely put!

And it would make for a fascinating seduction...

Gabi said...

I was going to get you drunk. Silly me.