Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Seduction - duction - what's your function

Okay - with apologies to schoolhouse rock - and the actual theme of this weeks question which I'm guessing everyone will avoid in one way or another - here are my thoughts on seduction through the art of words.

Why? Why would we try to do this? No, seriously. There is no good outcome to being a silver tongued rapscallion.

If you successfully woo and seduce your significant other with a string of beautiful words. What are you going to do next time? You can't say the same thing - your eyes are like pools of luminescent moonbeams - you can't say that twice. The response will be - you said that last time, what else do you got?

And if you're not successful then what ? If you mention some flower that she's never heard of or compare her to some work of art she doesn't find particularly attractive or if she says "your biceps are so strong" shortly after you failed to open the tomato sauce jar without fetching a hammer, you are just going backwards.

No, no, no. In this case less is definitely more. Her beauty is always indescribable - so why try. Your masculinity is better served by a few well placed touches and some type of cooing noise - even if she is merely suppressing a laugh.

Yes - I think this is the best policy - plus it always seems as if people are mad about getting seduced. Rarely on a soap-opera do you hear a character shout "You seduced me..and I liked it!" No - I'm afraid its always followed by an icy stare or a plate thrown through the air.

Best to avoid all this and let your touch do the talking. Of course I guess we have to do some talking to get there in the first place. Grrrr.... Its a vicious circle.

Do you women see what valentine's day does to us men?


Rebecca Cantrell said...

Graham! Let me get this straight: it's complicated to do a verbal seduction, so why bother? And especially not the second time!?!

This sounds like severe Valentine's Day burnout to me.

Take two boxes of candy (on sale today!) and watch a manly TV show. Like something with Charles Bronson.

This too shall pass.

Graham Brown said...

It was my manly way of pretending I don't do seductions or valentines day or candy.

lil Gluckstern said...

I am having trouble picturing a writer at a loss for word. Even quotes would work :) maybe you are just funny.BTW, I just got your new book. It is sitting atop
Mt. TBR. Happy day after Valentines Day.