by Paul D. Marks
And, aside from that I also echo Calvin’s sentiments in the
cartoon shown here.
Just kidding about that one – I ain’t perfect. Just ask my
wife.
But on the serious side, I didn’t make any resolutions this
year because, as they say, resolutions are made to be broken. So why make them?
That said, I do have goals, both personal and professional.
But whether goals or resolutions sometimes we don’t achieve
them. I’d like to win an Academy Award, live in Malibu, go to the moon, but I
don’t think I’ll ever achieve any of those things. But there are other things
that are more reachable. And my attitude has always been to shoot for the moon,
then you might reach the top of a mountain, but if all you do is shoot for a
mole hill, even if you achieve it you haven’t achieved much.
The worst thing in the world, to me at least, is not to try.
It’s like the saying “It’s better to have loved and lost than not to have loved
at all.” I feel that way about working on goals. It’s better to try and lose
than not to try at all.
A Tale of Two Friends
Friend 1: John Doe
wanted to be a writer. We started out at the same time. Went through a lot of
the same trials and tribulations of trying to make it in Hollywood. His wife
wanted him to give it up, get a real job. Make money. And he did all of those things.
But he wasn’t happy. He took it out on me, not his wife. Why? Because I stuck
it out. He resented that. He got snippy with me to be polite about it. I was
doing what he wanted to be doing and even though he was making more money than
me and more consistently, early on, he had given up his dream. And I
represented what he reluctantly gave up. I was more stubborn and I suppose more
willing to make sacrifices to pursue that dream. And eventually I started
having some success here and there. For some time John and I barely talked. But over time we became civil towards
each other if not the good friends we had been. But giving up on his dream made
him bitter, though sometimes one does have to give in to reality.
Friend 2: Joe
Doakes wanted to be a doctor and a rock star – not that there’s anything wrong
with that. And the two might not be totally incompatible, but not easy to
achieve at the same time I would think. When neither of those happened for
different reasons, he settled on a safe job with the government, doing the rock
thing on the side. I think it satisfies part of that dream for him, but I also
think he feels a loss and a longing for what might have been.
Are they happy now? To one degree or another. Both have
families. Some sort of stability. But neither has the “artistic” wild ride
they’d wanted. But there’s always tradeoffs and compromises. I think both have made
peace to a large degree with their decisions. Would they have been happier
sticking to their original goals? I don’t know. Would my relationship with both
have been better through the years if they hadn’t given up their dreams and
watched me pursue mine, probably.
I guess the moral of this story is we all have to make
choices and what works for one person doesn’t always work for another. Whatever
choices we do make, we have to be true to ourselves and respect other people’s
choices to live their lives the way they choose.
I’m not saying John and Joe didn’t try. And they certainly had
more job security than I did. Nor have I achieved all of my goals, whether
losing a certain amount of weight or achieving the New York Times bestseller
list. But I’ve done what I’ve wanted to do. To quote Frank Sinatra, “I’ve done
it my way,” for good or bad, but I did it on my own terms. It hasn’t been easy,
but whose life is? We all make choices and we all make compromises. I’m not
always happy with my lot in life. But I do have a lot of good things to be
thankful for, as my wife reminds me, and I need to focus more on that and on
having gratitude for the good things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AVOpNR2PIs |
So I suppose if I have one resolution it’s to be more
grateful.
Oh, and one more resolution is not to do much BSP in the
coming year: But wait, like I said, resolutions are made to be broken.......so
please check out Vortex, my noir-thriller novella (which means it’s short – you
can finish it quickly!). And if you’re eligible to vote for the Lefty Awards from Left Coast Crime, I
hope you’ll consider it for – here it comes and it’s a mouthful: “Best mystery
novel set in the Left Coast Crime Geographic Region (Mountain Time Zone and all
time zones westward to Hawaii)”. Vortex definitely fits the bill. Set
in L.A., Venice, CA, Hollywood, the Salton Sea and on/at the Shakespeare Bridge
in Los Feliz/L.A. Ballots are due by January 15th. And right now the book is
still on sale at Amazon/Kindle for a mere 99 cents. Cheap!
And
Happy New Year to all ye merry Criminal Minds and our esteemed readers.
And more thing, my friend. You don't have to make excuses for why you didn't do what you really wanted to do. Even if someone has to hold down a 9-5 job, he can still have the rock band in the garage. Or maybe write a book or two while he takes care of his family. It's when he says he has a dream and never follows that dream, you have to say he didn't really have a dream at all. You had a dream and are living proof it can be achieved. You did it without excuses.
ReplyDeleteHi Gayle, I never made excuses for what I did or didn't do. I did exactly what I wanted to do and haven't had to have a 9-5 job in decades. But my two friends didn't. And both were bitter and one in particular took it out on me since I didn't give up. I made no judgments on them, but they judged themselves I think and felt like they weren't really doing what they wanted to be doing.
ReplyDeleteWisdom here, Paul: " I guess the moral of this story is we all have to make choices and what works for one person doesn’t always work for another. Whatever choices we do make, we have to be true to ourselves and respect other people’s choices to live their lives the way they choose."
ReplyDeleteThose stories resonate with me, having seen similar scenarios play out elsewhere myself.
Happy New Year!
Art
Thanks, Art. I guess it's just human nature.
ReplyDeleteAnd Happy New Year to you, too!
P