Do as I Say, Damn It!

Have you ever written fan fiction? A pastiche? Tell us about that. If not, did you start out writing derivative fiction before finding your own voice? And you can tell us about that, too.

From Jim

I’ve never written fan fiction. Nor have I written any pastiches. But many years ago, as I was searching for a voice and style of my own, I did try to write in the style of other writers. It was a failure and very bad idea.

So, since I haven’t written fan fiction or pastiches, and since I do not today consciously imitate other writers, how can I contribute to this discussion? I thought of a way.

Recently, I’ve seen a couple of those “Mistakes Writers Shouldn’t Make” posts floating around the Internet. You know the kind: “Don’t use adverbs,” “Never open with weather,” “Avoid prologues,” “Only use ‘said’ as a dialogue tag,” “Don’t use that as a conjunction,” “Don’t have your characters purse their lips,” and so on. Many, but not all, of these posts lean heavily on Elmore Leonard’s famous advice to writers. I’m not sure how seriously Leonard intended those rules to be taken. I’ve heard some say he meant them as a joke. But whether he was offering straight advice or not, thousands have taken his list of rules to heart. And though I see a lot of merit in his advice, and the advice being offered so freely to writers everywhere, I object to the idea of people—critics, editors, and writers—telling others that there’s one correct way to write.

I appreciate Elmore Leonard’s talent. He was a master. But you know what? I don’t want to write like him. I want to develop my own style and voice. And if that means I accidentally use “shrugged his shoulders” instead of “shrugged,” then I’m a hack. Who is throwing books against the wall because a character in a book somewhere “blinked his eyes”?

Take, for example, the admonition against using any dialogue tag except “said.” This is so dogmatic and so random. We have dozens of powerful verbs that describe speech, so why not use them when appropriate?

“Go to hell,” he yelled/shouted/screamed.
“Oh, never mind,” he mumbled/grumbled.
“What about Tuesday?” he asked.
“I don’t think so,” she answered/replied.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“You’re such a selfish so-and-so,” I hissed.
“My leg,” he moaned.
“But I don’t want to,” she whined.
“Good morning,” she sang.
“Get out!” he bellowed.
Some others: quipped, snapped, harrumphed, snorted, mused, offered, chirped...

Okay, you may not like some of these, but where exactly is it written that these are bad style? And who exactly decided that they were bad? What are the criteria being used? It’s not like math. It’s not two plus two. There’s not necessarily a “wrong” answer.

A writer once told me NEVER to use exclamation points in my books. And, while he was at it, he said NEVER EVER use the word “well” as an interjection. Well, I found this to be the least helpful advice I’d ever heard. Akin to telling Picasso which colors not to use.

Remember too that norms go in and out of style. Today’s rules will be tomorrow’s fodder for ridicule. Don’t believe me? Here is a rather silly yet widely accepted rule from the Detection Club back in the thirties:

Only one secret room or passage is allowed  per story.  

And don’t forget that the verb “ejaculate” used to be perfectly acceptable as a dialogue tag...

Look, many of the rules floating around out there are useful, and we should bear them in mind as we write. But let’s not kid ourselves. These are mostly just someone’s pet peeves. Things that offend that person for some subjective reason. And that’s okay. But people in in glass houses... I have my pet peeves, too, and they’re often quite different from those of the majority.

Here’s an example. I am very careful to differentiate between the verbs bring and take. Most speakers of English are not. Nor are most writers. One implies a motion away from (take) while the other implies a motion toward (bring). But I don’t feel the need to rap knuckles with a ruler when someone uses “bring” when “take” is the more accurate verb. And it certainly would never make me throw a book against the wall and laugh at the writer’s ignorance. Language changes, usage changes. Speech and writing reflect those differences and changes. Write and let write, I say.

So, on the subject of writing in the style of other authors, I believe writers should find their own way. Use adverbs if you like. Or don’t. Start your book with a prologue if you want. Or don’t. Thousands of great writers have done so. And even weather. Go ahead and write “It was a dark and stormy night” if that’s what you want. Make your book your own.