That Old Green Monster

 

Terry here: Our question this week is a doozy. Do you ever lose hope of success, critical or financial? Do you ever feel a twinge of envy or jealousy for what other writers have achieved. We were told to be brutally honest. 

Oh, boy! Brutally honest, huh? Okay, I’m all in. 

 Yes, first of all, I am envious every, single day of those writers who were dedicated enough early in their lives to produce work that was snapped up by publishers. It took me a lot longer than it should have to get my work published. But it was my own fault! Here’s what I did that prolonged my eventual success: 

1) I didn’t take my writing seriously enough 

2) I lacked the self-confidence to insist that I be treated professionally 

3) I wasn’t professional in researching the best agents/publishers for my early books. 

 Had I not been hampered by these things, it still may have taken a long time to get published, but I suspect it would have happened a good bit earlier. Earlier, as when I had a lot more energy and could take my time working on books, instead of feeling the pressure of my limited number of years left. So yeah, I’m envious of those young whippersnappers. 

 Still, what am I whining about? My tenth book comes out in October.

And I have a debut novel in a new series coming out next April. Not to mention the numerous short stories I've had published in anthologies. So I am, and should be, grateful. I’ve read really good, unpublished manuscripts from many writers who never managed to snag the eye of a agent or publisher. I’m lucky. That could be me.

 The other thing that stirs envy in me, and this is more complicated, is when I read a book that has received rave notices, tons of readers, dazzling new contracts—and the writing seems pedestrian. I always wonder what I’m missing. Am I not as good a reader or writer as I imagine myself to be? What is it I’m missing!? And when I hear other people voice the same opinions, I wonder what agents and publishers saw in that particular writer that I, and others, simply don’t get. What is the magic that propelled them to their high-flown careers? 

Which segues me into the question of critical success. I’ve had great critical success. I’ve rarely received anything less than a glowing review from professional and fan reviewers. I’ve had starred reviews from Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, and RT Reviews (now defunct). And I’ve received wonderful reviews from the Toronto Star, Dallas Morning News, Bay Area newspapers, among others. I’ve been short-listed numerous times for awards, and have even won a few. 

What puzzles me, and I imagine a lot of authors with critical success, is why hasn’t the financial success followed? I believe some of the difference is that many of those authors have the backing of their publishers—backing with lots of money for promotion. I was very happy with the publisher of my first eight books. They produced beautiful books, and they hired publicists who got me solid events, including a TV appearance. But they didn’t spend a lot of money on promotion. I spent some money myself, including funding my own book tours. (Which most people assume are paid for by publishers). But this simply isn’t enough. 

The huge ads you see in the book review sections of major newspapers are paid for by publishers, and unless you have caught the imagination of one of those publishers, financial success is very unlikely. (I’m leaving out the financial success of more than a few independently-published authors, because I simply don’t know enough about it). 

 As for the original question, do I ever lose hope of financial success?

Heck no! I have a book out on submission now that I just KNOW will be a huge financial success. Heh. Maybe not, but I’m not giving up. Also, I can’t count the number of people who have begged me to have my books made into a TV series—as if I have anything to do with it! I always tell them that if they have a connection with somebody in “the business,” please let them know about my books. Will that happen? My fingers are permanently crossed. Of course, with the writers and actors strikes (and may they enjoy success) this is a dead issue at the moment. 

 Bottom line: When my better angels are in control, I’m immensely grateful for my loyal readers and for my critical success. And I continue to hope for more and better. But sometimes that old green monster shows its face, and when that happens I let him have a minutes of my time, and then move on.