November is a busy month, at least in the USA. Some people send out for, pay someone to, decide to stop bothering with . . . the same things other people lovingly prepare, take pride in, look forward to. What bits of adult life would you ditch / have you ditched? What “chores” feel like treats?
Brenda starting off the week.
Being an adult means doing a lot of repetitive chores - cleaning, shopping, cooking, paying bills, and on and on. All of these tasks are real time-eaters, and as every writer or creative person knows, time is precious. Perhaps paradoxically, even daydreaming requires time and focus.
We've raised two daughters, and while they lived at home, I did all the grocery shopping and cooked most of the meals. Laundry, cleaning and the bulk of those endless, repetitive errands fell to me, although we had a housecleaner once every two weeks after I returned to work full-time until I retired from the government. I wrote when I could throughout this period. My husband Ted worked in a physically demanding job, and he also renovated our house almost continually. For example, he gutted and rebuilt the bathroom. Another time, he built a back deck. He replaced the roof on our house twice since we've lived here. We each had our strengths and we did what we needed to do to keep our lives running smoothly. It wasn't perfect, maybe not even equal at times, but somehow we managed.
These last several years, writing from home has become my full-time job. Ted recently retired, although not really. He works for the company sporadically and often can be found helping somebody out when they need work done on their house. However, he's also taken on a portion of the mundane household chores, including laundry, cleaning and cooking. He also doesn't care if I suggest we eat out or order in, and he doesn't get upset by much. I'd put him in the feminist category - supportive, willing to pivot, not married to traditional roles.
Which brings me to this week's question. I've shed the guilt from letting housework slide. Sure, I keep the dishes clean, vacuum and dust, but none of these chores is my priority. If I want to spend the day reading and writing, this is what I do. I used to bake quite a bit but now only once in a while. I make meals from scratch less often, but enjoy it when I do. I still spend a lot of time working in the garden in the summer months, but only because I enjoy it. One chore/pastime that I spend a lot less time on is shopping. I rarely go into the stores and only when necessary.
As for which chores feel like treats, I quite enjoy spending a morning or afternoon vacuuming and washing the floors (with environmentally friendly cleaner), believe it or not. I like the exercise and the end result. Those times I do get around to baking or making a lovely meal, especially when we have company over, are also happy-inducing. My outlook now is that time shouldn't be squandered on chores if there's a more fun alternative, because nobody will care if the baseboards are clean or the windows washed when our time comes to leave this earth.
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I have learned to look down on chores and errands. i have also learned that there are a lot of responsibilities I am not actually responsible for. Things get done in their own time. My new mantra is: It Doesn't Matter, Take A Nap.
ReplyDeleteA wise mantra, Jerry!
ReplyDelete