My Work Is Never Done from James W. Ziskin

November is a busy month, at least in the USA. Some people send out for, pay someone to, decide to stop bothering with . . . the same things other people lovingly prepare, take pride in, look forward to. What bits of adult life would you ditch / have you ditched? What "chores" feel like treats?

Me doing a chore poorly so I won’t be asked to do it again.

I’m a doer. Not some spoiled rich kid with people to do my bidding. I handle these tasks myself.

So what are some of my regular chores? 

1.) I keep myself clean. I begin the day with a thorough bath. Yessir! Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Some days I even use two moist towelettes to get the job done.

2.) I make sure I breathe. Yes, I take breaths, even when I could wait a couple of seconds more before turning blue. Can’t be lazy.

3.) I eat. You may think this is no big deal. But when I eat, I don’t simply plunge my face into the plate and wolf it down like a hog. (Or, well, like a wolf.) No, I actually lift the food on a fork and put it in my mouth. And, of course, I chew. I don’t swallow my food whole like a python. I’m not an animal.

4.) Drinking liquids involves bending my elbow and ingurgitating. Lots of muscles at work if you’re conscientious about it like me. You should try it, you lazy sack of %#(@!

5.) I also do housework. Those dust bunnies don’t roll around the room by themselves. I have to blow pretty hard from my supine position on the couch to get them to hide under some piece of furniture.

6.) And no matter how many times I tell the cats to get their own damn dinner, I have to stop what I’m not doing, pry the top off a can of mystery fish chum, and dish it out for them. But it doesn’t end there. No. Once they’ve left the expensive stuff half-eaten, I have to bend over, pick up their dishes, and put them into the dishwasher! Can you imagine?

7.) And do you realize how hard it is to put food on the table? So many details to consider. Which app? DoorDash, Uber Eats? What type of cuisine? Which restaurant? And now that it gets dark early, I have to switch on the porch light for the delivery guy. And the plastic containers take up a lot of room in my recycle bin so I stuff them into my regular trash and sometimes get schmutz on my hand and have to wash it. I tell you it never ends.

8.) But I exaggerate. It’s no great hardship to maintain a clean house. If ever I miss the trash can with an errant toss of a lump of grimy ick, I make sure to text my wife about it so she can clean it up when she gets home from work.

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Actually, I think chores are important. No matter how menial—in fact, the menial-er the better—they feed the soul and satisfy primal needs. They keep us active, and activity is a balm for the mind. I often make a to-do list and cross off the things I’ve finished. Sometimes I add tasks I’ve already done, just to tick the box as done. 

Even if you space out and think of nothing while performing physical tasks, chores are good. If nothing else, they give your thoughts a chance to rest and re-charge for the challenges to come. I like doing things, even if I complain and dread having to carry them out.