Con Survival Tips by Josh Stallings

 Q: With Covid restrictions starting to ease, many of us are thinking of conferences and festivals. What are you planning? Any fond memories of past events you’d like to share?

A: I went to Bouchercon XXXVI with a messy early draft of my first novel and a dream that I’d sit in the lobby and a publisher would discover me like Lana Turner in Schwab’s and sign me up. That isn’t how it happened for me or Ms. Turner. The problem with this kind of magical thinking is it gets in the way of seeing the real magic. I didn’t sell my book for a bag of gold, instead I got to know fellow writers and readers. I discovered that regardless of how brutal some of our writing can be, members of the crime fiction community are some of the most generous, funny, caring people in the world. These people are the magic.

Many years later I’ve learned a thing or two, here is my guide to surviving crime fiction cons.

Managing my expectations. 

Early on I treated cons like they were legitimate business expenses. I paid X amount for travel and registration and that would boost my sales by X+. As a small press and self published writer I poured most of the profit from my early books into going to cons. I was lucky enough to get two of my books nominated for both Lefty and Anthony Awards. 

Nominated... Lou Berney won

I took out ads in programs, gave away merch… and none of that changed my sales. There are multiple reasons for this, one is that the sample group of readers at any convention is small, from a business lens. And in my case as a writer struggling towards the mid-list, I never found myself on a panel in Ballroom A talking with best sellers to a packed house. That might move the needle, don’t know, it’s never happened. But I suspect the group even in the “big room” still isn’t large enough to push me to “sack of gold” sales numbers. 

If I go to a con expecting that damn bag of gold, I am setting myself up for a resentment. Instead I go looking for joy and encouragement. To be reminded why I write. I love hearing smart people talking about the craft of writing. It fires my engine, I always come home exhausted but with my creative battery charged up. 

Stop comparing my career to other writer’s careers.

This applies to social-media as well as cons. In sobriety I learned “don’t compare your insides to other’s outsides.” Translation, “Just because they look like they have the world by its tail, doesn’t mean they aren’t wracked with the same fears and insecurities as you.” Maybe they just hide it better or, and this is the real truth - you haven’t gotten to know them well enough to find out how they really feel. 

My mind was blown when I discovered writers I considered monsters of the craft, also suffered from imposter syndrome. Not only did they, we spent time together helping each other get over it, or at least quiet its screaming in our heads. 

By not comparing my “chart standing” against others I’m able to see we are all fighting battles to put the best words on a page that we can. We are in this together. I am not alone.

Be here now.  

Wherever I am in my career is where I am now. Early in my film editing career I won some awards, garnered the respect of my peers, made a good living, and through most of it, when I wasn’t actually editing, I was busy planning my next move, or looking backwards hoping not to make past mistakes twice. I was looking anywhere but where I was standing. The actual process of film editing and writing force me to be present. They suck me into the world I am creating and block all else out. As I type these very words, it is me and the keys flying beyond time and space. It is my happy place, okay that was too much, sometimes it’s a happy place, sometimes it hurts, sometimes it’s fucking sad, sometimes it’s ecstatic. BUT, when typing I am present to all of it. I am only here now.

When sitting in the audience for a con panel, I have to be there, fully listening if I’m going to hear what I need to hear. When I’m on a panel, I have to be fully there, listening. If I’m on the dais planning something cute or cool to say, instead of listening, my comment won’t be cute or cool, it will be annoying and again I’ll miss what I need to hear.

This also applies to the lauded con bars. This is a real opportunity to get to know some amazing folks. I don’t want to blow it by putting on the “Josh Show.” My only defense against this defense mechanism, is to truly be present. 

Be grateful. 

The strongest tool against “they stole my success” syndrome is a gratitude list.

1) Today I’m grateful I get to spend my day solving creative problems.

2) Today I’m grateful for the support and respect of writers I really admire.

3) Today I’m grateful for readers. And getting a message from someone who thanks me for telling their story. 

4) Today I’m grateful for writers. Reading is the greatest and cheapest vacation, education, and cure for alienation that I know. Thanks writers.

5) Today I’m grateful for the special ed teacher who came up to me at Left Coast Crime after a panel. She had me sign TRICKY, and said, “I wanted to write about the people I’d met but couldn’t see how until that panel.” Something I said helped her see we don’t write about a monolithic intellectually disabled person, we write about specific people.

6) Today I’m grateful for writers who said nuggets of truth that have helped me get out of my own way as I write.

7) Today I’m grateful for Erika who will be editing these messy words as soon as I finish typing. She creates a safety-net that allows me to type with wild abandon.

8) Today I’m grateful for my sons and dogs and the woods and all the creatures in my world who show me how rich life is.

I have found that I can’t hold gratitude and envy in my heart at the same time. When I start to feel envy, I know it’s time to write a gratitude list. 

As for cons in the age of COVID, it is a case by case deal. We each need to evaluate our own risk vs reward ratio. I have people I care for who are immunocompromised, we don’t have unlimited funds, air travel is both expensive and scary, all of these are part of my personal equation. All of us have complicated lists of pros and cons so I don’t judge any of my crime family for their choices. And that is the bigger point, we are a family. We take care of each other. If some can’t make it this year, I know we will save a seat for them when things change and they can come back.  

If big gatherings are still too much, look around for smaller events. See what your local chapter of Sisters In Crime, or MWA are doing. Seek out local readings. Noir Bar readings aren’t just noir, they’re a great way to hang with writers. Find branches of our collective family tree that fit where you’re at right now.

I look forward to seeing you all, when ever and where ever we meet on this collective journey.