But seriously, what are the contenders? Bouchercon (5), Left Coast Crime (5), Malice Domestic (5), Harrogate (3), Bloody Scotland (2) and Wigtown Book Festival (5? Some as a punter and some as a writer.)
And my favourite is . . . nah. They're all my favourite as they happen. We spend weeks on end alone in a room, typing and weeping, and then we get on planes and we go where there are people and laughter and all manner of shiny things.
I couldn't pick one. So instead, let's go for moments. In ascending order of how-is-this-my-life-ness here are my top five moments:
5. the opening ceremonies at Bouchercon Cleveland, in the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame:
4. the lunch they serve every day in the green room at Wigtown:
3. winning one of the tribal teapots at Malice (I love that Malice hands out teapots as awards)
2. everything about Left Coast Crime, Monterey, but especially the fact that my parents were there.
1. Oof, this is hard. I started the top five thinking I'd know what number one was when I got here. Not a chance. So instead, I'll share this picture of me on my birthday morning last year, that I just found while looking for the others. Can anyone explain what's going on? Look closely.