Life: What have you sacrificed as a writer?
(TV? Fitness? Family? Marriage? A well paying job?! and how do you feel about that.)
When I made a conscious effort to slow down in recent years, this question was on my mind quite a bit. Much of it needs to be measured by the business side of things. The ROI or Return on Investment. Not so much financially, though that is a factor, but in the intangibles, mostly having to do with time.
I set myself a goal to finish my first novel before my youngest daughter came home. I met that goal and it signaled my switch from screenwriting to primarily novel-writing. Since then I have sacrificed family time for sure. I don’t think I ever gave up a detrimental amount of time. My kids always took priority over any book event or arbitrary deadline I had looming. I made it to the swim meets and the lacrosse games for both of my girls. They both enjoyed seeing me head off to a book festival or a bookstore signing. They weee supportive and never asked me to slow down. If they had, I would have. Now they are off in college and I have more supposed free time, right when I need to slow down for the other looming specter: my health.
I get more exercise now than I did a decade ago for sure. Again, a conscious choice. Has my word count suffered? Absolutely. And that’s okay.
My late nights aren’t as late as they once were. I shifted my schedule so I can get up at 6 am to go exercise by playing volleyball on the beach a few times a week. It’s a worthy trade-off in my opinion.
I’ve never spent excess amounts of money on my writing career. I’ve been able to pay for most conferences out of book royalties, I don’t make rash investments in the latest online ad fad going around until I know anyone who has seen success. I’ve been lucky to have a well-paying day job so my writing has never had to sustain the family. We’d be living in a cardboard box under an overpass if it did.
The trade-off there is the old adage that you need to spend money to make money. I’m sure I have missed out on some sales or slowed the growth of my career because of my frugality, but keeping a roof over our heads, saving for college, being able to take a vacation now and then are all much higher priorities than my Amazon ranking. I have seen far more authors who spend that money only to see little or no return, though.
I can honestly say I have sacrificed a little of my mental health pursuing a writing career. My day job comes with its own stresses. I’ve been a part of many creative industries including the music business, Film business, TV business and publishing business. None of them are for the faint of heart. All of them will crush your soul.
I have endured frustrations, humiliations, heartbreaks, brushes with success so close you can feel the heat and also betrayal, jealousy and disrespect. And guess what? So have all of us who take this on. It comes with the territory.
The decades of rejection can wear on a person though. I hope I never let it bleed into my home life or I never took out my frustrations on my wife or my kids, but I’m sure I was in a sour mood from time to time. I’m only human.
I do feel I have created a fair balance in my own life. I know that any successes I’ve had have been of my own making. I still long to be let into the exclusive club of working authors, but I know there is only so much room on the other side of those doors. I will likely never make it inside. At the same time, there are writers behind me in line who wish they were as close to the door as I have gotten.
To them I would say, protect your most valuable asset: your own time. If I stopped to calculate my hourly rate based on how much time I have spent on writing vs. how much monetary compensation I’ve gotten back I might go insane. But it’s about more than that. Creating something and letting it out in the world is, and always should be, about the process itself, not the financial reward. The chances are slim that you will ever make a decent buck at this pursuit. If you don’t enjoy the process, then you are guaranteed disappointment. So you must temper your expectations, and keep your time as your own. If all the business does is make you miserable, then you shouldn’t do it. I’ve know many authors who decided they were sacrificing too much, on any or all of these fronts, and they walked away and are happier for it. Good for them. Sacrifice, like suffering, shouldn’t be a key part of the writing life. Only give up what you are willing.






