Monday, September 11, 2017

Get Rid of It!

For Monday, Sept 11, I’m answering the intriguing question:
 What would you most like to uninvent?

To start off, here are some things I am glad were invented:

Social media. I know, I know. It can be annoying and a time suck, but I also love after a long day of writing to send out a chatty message and have people reply instantly. It’s like having afternoon coffee without the coffee. Even better if I have a glass of wine on hand.

Airplanes. Actually, I wish they had skipped airplanes and gone straight to teleportation. Think of all the time we’d save not just in the airplane ride itself, but also getting to the airport and sitting in those horrible seats in the airport, waiting, waiting….

The toaster. Is there anything better than a nice piece of toast?

The iphone. What did we do without them? If we could only use them to say, “Where are you? I thought we were meeting at….,” they would be worth their weight in gold.

Ride sharing. Heaven—except when it isn’t, but that’s a minor annoyance.

The copy machine. Some young people don’t know that back in the dark ages (before the 80’s) people had to trot down to a copy center to copy documents. Even one page. Home copiers used to be the size of a Saint Bernard. Around 1985 I insisted that we buy one. My closet luddite husband insisted we didn’t need one. Six months later we realized we could never get divorced, because who would get custody of the copier?

But I do have one invention I can’t live without--and can’t live with: THE PRINTER.

Has there ever been an invention better designed to drive people nuts? All the printers I have ever owned have one trait in common: When I really, really need a printed document right now, they go on strike. “Nope. Not printing right now. So sue me.” I have gone so far as to announce loudly, “This isn’t a document I really need now. I can do without it.” Of course, it’s never fooled. It “jams” or is suddenly “not connected to the computer.” And I am reduced to a blithering heap of fury.

If “they” can put a man on the moon (or at least they could at one time—unless you’re one of those who believes it was a hoax), why can’t they come up with a printer that works when you need it? I have actually gone to an electronics store (big one) and said, “I don’t care how much it costs, I want a printer that works.” The salesperson without fail says, “Oh, this $99 model works just as well as any of them.” I’m pretty sure after I leave, they announce over the loudspeaker, “Hey everyone, I just sent home another cheap printer.” And all the associates roar with laughter and high-five him the rest of the day.

So what am I going to do, start printing everything by hand? Where is the papyrus when I really need it?

Addendum: Today I’m starting a contest on my Facebook Page. If you want to enter, or know someone who might like it, visit me at:

Here's a teaser photo: 

The contest will be posted after 12:00 noon Pacific Coast Time.


Paul D. Marks said...

Terry, my bête noire was a fax machine. It jammed often and laughed at me, too. But I got back at it one day: I got so pissed off I smashed it to bits. It felt really good. Of course, I had to buy a new one, but that one never laughed at me again ;-) .

Priscilla said...

Since I am terrified of flying, I would dump the airplane. If I believed in the devil, I would blame the imp for foisting that instrument of torture on humanity!

Susan C Shea said...

Bingo, Terry!

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Terry said...

Priscilla, as I said, I wish inventions had gone straight to teleportation. That would be an invention I could get behind.