One Star

"Write a review of your own latest book" By Catriona

Well, this is just unbearable. I've been fretting about writing this blog since I saw the week's topic on Monday.

For one thing I've never written a review before.

But that's not the real problem.

The real problem is that I come from a culture where "You love yourself" is a bitter insult and even "You're good to yourself" is quite a mean thing to say to anyone. So the only review it won't hurt to write is a savage one.

Here goes. My one-star, Amazon-style review of SCOT FREE (coming on the 8th of April in the US)

Review title:  Boooooring.

This is supposed to be a comic mystery but I didn't laugh once. I have a good sense of humor and I found nothing amusing in this confused and pointless read. It is not funny to kill a man by putting a firework inserted into his anatomy and the heroine is unlikable too. She is no good at choosing a partner and is a bad role model. She drinks too much alcohol and eats burritos from a food truck and is a very bad role model. And she has casual sex and there is infidelity and other unpleasant things. And she walks alone through a dangerous neighborhood at night without being frightened and so the "author" doesn't understand Real Life.

The scene in the morgue is disrespectful and the second scene in the morgue is disgusting and unnecessary. So is the language. There is no need to take the Lord's name in vain, it is a sign of weak talent and jumping on the "Bandwagon".

The characters are boring and not realistic. I am sick of politically correct rants that shoves social issues down you're throat instead of just telling a good story. Why does everyone have to be gay these days, it's not realistic. There is no need for alternative lifestyles to be in mysteries instead of in there own books. The story would be just the same with regular people. And why does there have to be all the "races" all the time? We have all seen movies and TV shows and we know that is not what California is really like. I am not a racist, but it is not realistic that this heroine would have these friends. And if anyone calls me a racist now, that is your racism showing.

The plot is stupid. It is boring and confusing. Nothing happens and it is too comlpicated to follow.  And it is not even properly explained at the end because of all the Loose Threads left "hanging".  I still don't know whodunit and the author is too lazy to finish the book properly and tell us whodunit. She probably just got sick of writing and so she stopped and that is the end.

And there is too much British slang. And the heroine isn't even British, she is Scottish! So there is no need for all the British slang instead of regular English. This writer should have paid an editor to catch the mistakes because they are off-putting and distracting. But she was too lazy.

I will never read another book by this Author unless she learns to write.

The Kindle version  is too expensive.