Never Say Never

We all write the kind of novels we want to write. What kind of novel would you never write?

by Paul D. Marks

Well, as Sean Connery learned when he said he’d never make another James Bond movie, “never say never,” unless you want to make a latter-day Bond called “Never Say Never Again.” However, in that case he probably should have said no, if not actually never.

And in checking out Wikipedia  (where else am I gonna go?) I can’t believe how many genres and sub-genres of fiction there are, but I’ll only touch on a handful.

So, that said, is there a type of novel I would (probably) never write?

Romance would be up there, especially bodice rippers. I don’t have anything against them or the people who read them, but it’s not something I read and would probably feel very uncomfortable writing.

Horror – Well, I thought I’d never write horror and I haven’t done a horror novel…yet. But I was asked to write horror stories for two different horror anthologies. So I took it as a challenge and gave it my best shot. And both stories were accepted by their respective editors and are in the anthologies Journals of Horror, edited by Terry M. West, and Simple Things, edited by Franklin E. Wales.

Fantasy – doubtful I’d write something in this genre. I don’t read it and I’m not much into it. I prefer things – at least these days – set in the real and present world that deal with things and people that I recognize to one degree or another. That could change over time, but only time will tell.

Dystopian – Again, it’s not something I read much of these days, though I did more in the past. I think I have some dystopian ideas in my idea file, but nothing I’m planning to work on any time soon.

Young Adult – It’s been a while since I’ve been one so I don’t know if I can relate 😉.

Science Fiction – I actually did a sci-fi type story or two a very long time ago. They weren’t published and I haven’t tried again lately. Though I did work on some sci-fi scripts in my previous life.

Western – Again, haven’t written any western prose, though one of my favorite books is Monte Walsh. And again, I did some work on a western screenplay.

Zombie/Vampire – If you would have asked me this a few years ago, I would have said I’d never work on a vampire story. Then I started on one ’cause I thought it would be fun. And it was, but I wanted to get back to what I generally do, mystery, noir, etc. So I abandoned it. Besides, there were so many out there the world didn’t need another bloodsucker.


What I do write are mostly mystery and mostly in the hardboiled/noir vein. But I’ve also written and had published satirical stories, mainstream and other things.

My three novels, White Heat, Broken Windows and Vortex, are all on the hardboiled/noir side of things. But my short stories are all over the place. The Ghosts of Bunker Hill series that’s been appearing in Ellery Queen has a supernatural element to it. My stories Continental Tilt, The Practical Girl’s Guide to Murder and more recently There’s an Alligator in My Purse, from Florida Happens, the 2018 Bouchercon anthology, are all satirical/humorous. Windward, the story that won the Macavity and was chosen for the Best American Mysteries of 2018, is a pretty straight forward PI tale set in Venice, CA. And the first novel that I completed is a satire on Hollywood. It was accepted for publication at a major publisher. Then the editorial staff was replaced and, as a new broom sweeps clean, my novel got swept out with them. And since the humor was topical it was already dated. Remember Fawn Hall and Donna Rice… see what I mean. But instead of rewriting it, I moved on to other things, though I might come back to it someday. But I did learn something from that experience: don’t write topical humor, unless you know something will be published fairly quickly.

So, never say never. And never write topical without a ready market. My wisdom for the day 😀.

~.~.~

And now for the usual BSP:

I’m honored and thrilled – more than I can say – that my story Windward appears in The Best American Mystery Stories of 2018, edited by Louise Penny and Otto Penzler, which just came out this week. I wrote a blog on that on SleuthSayers if you want to check it out: https://www.sleuthsayers.org/2018/10/the-impossible-dream.html .

I’m doubly thrilled to say that Windward won the Macavity Award at Bouchercon a few weeks ago. Wow! And thank you to everyone who voted for it.




And I’m even more thrilled by the great reviews that Broken Windows has been receiving. Here’s a small sampling:

Kristin Centorcelli, Criminal Element: 

"Although it’s set in 1994, it’s eerie how timely this story is. There’s an undeniable feeling of unease that threads through the narrative, which virtually oozes with the grit, glitz, and attitude of L.A. in the ‘90s. I’m an ecstatic new fan of Duke’s."

"Duke and company practically beg for their own TV show."

John Dwaine McKenna, Mysterious Book Report:

"This electrifying novel will jolt your sensibilities, stir your conscience and give every reader plenty of ammunition for the next mixed group where the I [immigration] -word is spoken!"

Betty Webb, Mystery Scene Magazine:

"Broken Windows is extraordinary."

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A Thousand Monkeys Walk Into A Room – And Start Typing Away

Scientists have invented a robot that can do your writing for you. You give it the basic plot and characters and it does the rest. Would you use it? Why or why not?

by Paul D. Marks

Aren’t some authors doing that already? Kind of doing factory farming writing – farming out their books to other authors. That seems kind of robotic to me.

And while it would be nice to have a robot take some of the burden off, I don’t think I’d do it. But like Sean Connery learned, “never say never.”

Part of what makes good writing is the author’s personal experience and how they interpret that experience and distill it into their writing. How s/he infuses their writing with their take on life. A robot or artificial intelligence would be missing that. Until they can truly experience life, not just have it programmed into them, their writing will lack a certain heart to it. And didn’t they try that with typing monkeys, thinking that eventually they’d come up with a Shakespeare play just by random chance. According to Wikipedia, “The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.” The same might be said for a robot. But, even if they could do it, having it programmed into them to whatever extent, it takes the fun and spontaneity out of writing.

Slate has an article about Shelley A.I., a bot that writes horror stories. ( http://www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2017/10/27/an_ai_bot_is_very_good_at_writing_horror.html ). I think the examples provided in the article show that the writing is, indeed, a bit “mechanical”. And, as they say in the piece, “The algorithms, like Shelley, still require human-made works to teach themselves how to create phrases and sentences from words, how to generate drama and rising action and climax, how to access a lexicon that delivers the right sort of tone and purpose, and more.” So it seems like robots or Artificial Intelligence bots have it one up over the monkeys, but I’m thinking that the A.I. writer still lacks something humans do, most especially life experience that puts what they’re writing in context and gives it a deeper texture. (I noticed that one of the commenters to RM’s blog earlier this week also mentioned this piece, so the word on A.I. Writer Bots is getting out.)

Wired also did a piece both written by and about robots or A.I. And maybe it works for non-fiction, at least a little better than for fiction. But for fiction it doesn’t seem like it would work, even if you wanted to do it that way. You can find the Wired story here: https://www.wired.com/2017/02/robots-wrote-this-story/ 

There’s something to be said for the human touch, whether in the market checkout line or at the bank…or in writing. Yes, the ATM or auto checkout line might be faster, but sometimes it’s nice just to have a face to say hello to and have it say hello back. Of course if they’re talking to their co-workers or on the phone, well screw ’em.

And while it’s nice to have “robots” or programs that can spell-check, offer up Thesaurus words or even check grammar (more on that in a minute) and analyze your story, you have to be the one to do the creative work. I don’t even like those programs that plot for you or do other similar things because they take the “me” out of the writing and without that the work could be written by pretty much anyone – or any bot –, so what then makes it unique? Plus, do we really want robots taking our writing jobs away?

Now to grammar: If you’ve tried using a grammar checker as a fiction writer you’ve probably found that it’s way too formal. It might work for non-fiction, but fiction is more free-form. And grammar checkers can drive you crazy. So though a robot or A.I. bot might be able to come up with a story it might be stiff and talk and walk awkwardly like Robby the Robot. You also have to be careful that your bot doesn’t mutiny on you:

VIDEO REMOVED

Someday there might be robots or AI with enough heart to create a good story. Or maybe, ultimately the human element just can’t be replaced.

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And now for the usual BSP:

Please check out the interview Laura Brennan, writer, producer and consultant, did with me for her podcast, where we talk about everything from Raymond Chandler and John Fante to the time I pulled a gun on the LAPD and lived to tell about it. Find it here: http://destinationmystery.com/episode-52-paul-d-marks/

www.PaulDMarks.com

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