Walk That Talk by Gabriel Valjan

 

A query, an outline, and a synopsis walk into a bar, and a writer/bartender shoots themself. Publishers and agents often want one or all of these thinga-ma-jobbies. Any advice for writers who are flummoxed by how to create them?

 

I’d rather endure a visit to the dentist than write any of these items because they all sound like lingerie ads to me, or worse, descriptions for wine or perfume.

 

A refresher for those who don’t know the subtext. The query letter should have a Hook aka Log Line that “grabs” the agent. Everyone is pressed for time, mere seconds to read an email. Sorry, that is the harsh reality.

 

A Synopsis should state word count, identify genre and the potential audience for your work. Translation: the What and Why. Word count gives an agent and publisher an idea of print costs and an estimate for an editor’s time. Savvy authors will often bypass these headaches if their Log Line is catchy, memorable, and does the work for them.

 

Here’s a trifecta for Benjamin Stevenson’s Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone:

 

Knives Out and Clue meet Agatha Christie and The Thursday Murder Club.

 

A chef’s kiss. This opener has cinematic and literary allusions, and it cleverly identifies several demographics for an audience.

 

I’ll be honest. I’ve not heard of authors asking to submit an Outline until after there is an active interest in the manuscript. The good news is that there’s plenty of great resources on how to craft a query letter, a Log Line, and synopsis that would make Don Draper envious. I recommend readers plumb the depths of sites, such as Career Authors, Jungle Red Writers, and the Education and Webinars at Sisters in Crime.

 

Since most submissions are online, make sure you follow directions. If an agent wants a synopsis that is 100 words, they don’t mean 150. You are not that special exception. You’d be shocked at how many authors do not format their manuscripts properly or have the correct margins. If you can’t follow simple directions, you’re telegraphing a potential problem.  

 

Where my advice may differ from others on today’s topic is that I strongly encourage writers to take advantage of conferences. Almost all of them have Pitch Sessions or workshops on how to write the Items above or practice your 20-second elevator pitch, and these masterclasses are often taught by agents. What not to do is as important as what to do right.

 

Present yourself as a professional at conferences. Impressions count. Agents will look at your social media and web site, in part to see how you do marketing and what image you project. I don’t, for example, respond to trolls. I don’t express my personal opinions. At worst, I am a cipher. At best, nobody can say anything negative about me.

 

My take is nobody knows what will sell tomorrow, and reading tastes are subjective. Focus on making a connection so the conversation continues. Be prepared for opinions. Don’t take rejection personally, and remember that people are people. There are jerks and there are stand-up individuals. An agent may love your work but may not know if they can sell it. Let’s not delude ourselves: this is a business and writers may write for love and dream of champagne and press junkets, but agents, like us, need to pay the bills.

 

I’ll repeat it: research. See if you’re a fit. The mechanics of writing a query, synopsis, and outline can be learned. In addition to meeting agents at a conference—and face time is not to be underestimated, along with a business card in hand—talking to other writers can save you time and grief. Authors are people and they have experiences, so talk to members of your tribe. Take what they say with a grain of salt, but there’s often an element of truth in the drink at the bar or water cooler. Writers have introduced other authors to their agents, and the rest is history. A door otherwise closed has opened, and someone walked in. Learn who is excellent, who works hard for their clients, and who doesn’t. You’ve paid a hefty price to attend a conference, probably traveled far, so take advantage of the time there.