Q: Action, comedy, dialogue, sex, or violence - which of these do you find the most difficult to write and why?
A: Disclaimer, none of these are easy when you start out, or they weren’t for me.
My first book was the beginning of the Moses trilogy, those books were set in the sex as commerce world, starting with strip clubs and legal brothels, then dealing with international sex trafficking, not a subject widely discussed at the time. The final book dealt with underage American citizens being trafficked inside the US, a reality that had not yet been reported on by the mainstream press. Grim stuff to think about, but also books that demanded I treat sexual scenes with brutal honesty. No silk stocking over the lens or cutting to a train going into a tunnel. They were sexual scenes but not sexy. And they were plot and character driven.
Violence is hard to think about but for me the key to writing it is, it has to hurt. I don’t write cheesy takes on 80’s action flicks or video game violence. I have felt the pain of violence. I have carried a gun I luckily never had to use. I tap into those feelings when writing, and refuse to glamorize violence.
All I know about dialogue comes originally from reading lots of plays. The difficulty of dialogue is differentiating character’s voices. One test is if I don’t put in “Jake said” would I know it was him? Characters have verbal ticks like calling everyone “Dude.” That’s a cheat unless it works. I tend to use the first draft to discover characters and that leads me to their voices.
I’m not sure what is meant by action, I find car chases or train hopping or what have you difficult to write in new ways. It’s the build up I like. Walking through the haunted house is scarier than meeting the monster, for me at least.
What is the hardest? Comedy by far. Not to write but to get past my agent and editors. I used to think this was because they didn’t have senses of humor. I’m now suspecting I’m not good at it. Or maybe it’s that my humor doesn’t jive with my general writing style. I love a good pun, my brain will spend a day trying to find a joke to go with a punch line I’ve discovered. Someone says “These have probiotics.” I want reply, “I’m broke, can only afford the amateur-biotics.” This follows my thinking about building a joke around procreation vs amateur creation. Turns out loving wordplay and being good at it are two separate things. I often make up jokes for Erika. She laughs about twenty percent of the time and another twenty percent elicits a groan, the remaining sixty percent leaves her silent. Not great results.
A sibling after reading my first book — you know the one with the suicidal strip-club bounce who's super power is not giving a damn what you do to him — asked “Why don’t you write funny books? You’re such a funny guy.”
I wanted to answer in my best Joe Pesci, “I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?” I didn’t, should’ve but didn’t.
Yesterday I said to my son, “What is up with elevators? They go up they come down.” I was trying out really obvious observational comedy. Is that a joke or just dad being weird? Maybe both.
Thing about comedy is it is absolutely subjective. Certain moments are universally funny. Slapstick done right, Danny DeVito hitting Billy Crystal in the face with a frying pan is almost impossible not to laugh at.
The Big Lebowski: Donnie's ash scattering scene is funny and dark and pretty damn bullet proof. As is “Nobody fucks with the Jesus.” Having just typed that I’m sure someone will comment that this isn’t a universally comic scene.
What is funny to me isn’t funny to you. My favorite humor is performative dialogue riffing, even if you are only performing for the friend you are riffing with. Dialogue jazz is a you-know-it-when-you’re-in-it kinda’ deal.
There are writers who are funny like that. Cisco in TRICKY was funny. But whenever cops started bantering I got notes to tone it down. And I think this reflects on the tonal contract we sign with our readers. If I set the readers up for funny it needs to be tonally that way from page one. If I’m writing a serious novel about a serious subject it can have humor but throwing in silly wordplay may throw readers out.
Oh I have an idea: I’ll write my first true noir novel and call it, The Dad Joke. Log-line, His jokes are bad enough to kill.
Back to the point, humor belongs in any book, but it needs to fit the style and tone of that book. Hard boiled books are just asking for some fun. It started with Chandler and his funny on the edge of silly similes.
It seemed like a nice neighborhood to have bad habits in. - Raymond Chandler, The Big Sleep
James Crumley added humor with his darkly hilarious observations.
The cork bounced off the ceiling and skittered across the carpet like a small rabid animal… His eyes as flat as yesterday’s beer. - James Crumley, The Last Good Kiss
Adrian McKinty in his hard boiled Sean Duffy books can be funny and tough.
“I slipped my fist into the knuckleduster. Look away now if you think Sean Duffy is the decent man who fights fair. He doesn’t fight fair. He fights very fucking unfair.” - Adrian McKinty, The Detective Up Late
Here is a section from my hard boiled book OUT THERE BAD that I find funny.
“I saw her standing there.” Cheesy Brit pop assaulted my ears as I pushed through the curtains into Fantasia’s bikini bar. It must be said, The Beatles were pussies. John, Paul, George and that goofy mutant Ringo, pussies one and all. With their whiny, simpering love songs and simple solutions to complex questions. “Love is all you need.” Tell that to an eight year old boy whose mother is a mean drunk Jesus freak who thinks cornflakes are dinner. Fuck love, what I needed when she took a belt to my ass was a .44 and an airtight alibi.
Many did not see the humor is this, I know because they took the time to write me. That was when I discovered a before unknown rule to add to “don’t kill the dog”, never insult the Fab Four. Even if you think it’s funny the world won’t agree.
I do notice that all my comic references are from hard boiled books. Maybe this sub-genre lends itself to humor, or maybe it lends itself to humor that I find funny.
Will I one day master writing comedy? I hope so.
Help a fellow writer out here. What are some of your favorite comedy moments in non traditionally comic books?
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What am I reading now:
Creation Lake, by Rachel Kushner. Kushner is brilliant, the book is brilliant. She knows just what to tell and what to leave us guessing about.
We Will Be Jaguars: A Memoir of My People, by Nemonte Nenquimo, Mitch Anderson. A personal history of people of the Amazon and the true cost of oil.
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