DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? Celebrity Writers from James W. Ziskin

There seems to be a deluge of celebrity authors entering the world of crime fiction, some of whom are writing their own books, and some of whom might not be. What are your thoughts on the celebrity author phenomenon, including those utilizing ghosts?

GHOSTS

I have no issues with celebrities wanting to write a book with one proviso. They should actually write the book that bears their name on the cover. No ghost writers.

“WRITE YOUR OWN DAMN BOOK.”

That’s what our inimitable Terry Shames grumbled under her breath after an earnest reader offered suggestions of how they might have written her book differently. Excellent advice. But aspiring authors—and that includes the ones of the celebrity variety—should approach the task of writing a novel with humility and eyes wide open. As Brenda cautioned earlier this week, writing a mystery is harder than you think. 

WORKING WITH A CO-AUTHOR

There are plenty of talented writer teams out there who create wonderful books. Several friends of mine, in fact. Me, I don’t know how they do it, but the results are superb. I could never work with another writer on a project because, as my report card would undoubtedly say, “doesn’t play nice with others.” But why shouldn’t celebrities have the same opportunity as any other writer to collaborate with a co-author? Just remember it ain’t easy to write a mystery. (And, psst. You’ll never be as good at it as your co-author.)

One bit of advice I’d offer to a celeb thinking about writing a book with an established author is this: readers will probably think you came up with some of the ideas, but they’ll assume the established author actually did the writing, editing, and even the spellcheck. Of course there are some celebrity authors who truly know their subject matter, and I would hope readers would recognize their contributions to the books they write. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, for instance. Besides being a legend—ranked the third greatest basketball player EVER by ESPN.com—he’s co-authored more than fifteen books, including three Mycroft Holmes novels with Anna Waterhouse and a Mycroft graphic novel, which he co-wrote with Raymond Ostfeld. (Artwork by Joshua Cassara.) Abdul-Jabbar is a lifelong fan and student of the Sherlock Holmes canon and I doubt anyone could question his commitment and full partnership in his books.

THINK OF GOLF

I’m not sure readers feel the same way about other celebrity authors. If you’re, say, a former president of the United States and you sign on to write a thriller with James Patterson, can you really expect people to think you did half the writing? You certainly brainstormed ideas, vetted the details of the inner workings of the White House, and what it’s like to fly on Air Force One. Probably provided invaluable information that gave the novel layers of nuance and realism that no outsider could know. But when it comes to writing books, Patterson is a pro. A former president, for all his other qualifications, is not. Think of those Pro-Am golf tournaments, where they pair talented amateur players with professional tour golfers. There’s no question which one will hit the ball farther and more accurately than the other. And which player would you trust to get up and down in two out of a green-side bunker? Then there’s putting. That’s the subtle, delicate, painstakingly precise part of the game, where a putt left a half an inch short of the cup will cost the player another stroke to finish the hole. A half-inch stroke that will carry the same weight on the scorecard as a 300-yard drive off the tee. Think of putting as akin to the final brilliant plot twist in a novel. If you rim out and have to tap it in for an extra stroke, well, it might detract from the 300 pages you wrote to set it up.

WE LOVE FAMOUS PEOPLE

Okay, that was a long way to go to craft a simile, but what the hell. My point is that celebrity co-authors bring many advantages to the collaboration. Subject matter expertise, intelligence, training, know how, etc. And possibly even writing ability. But I would wager that most celebrity-author collaborations begin as a marketing idea somewhere in a corner office of a Big-Five publishing house. There are always exceptions, of course. But, if we’re being honest, publishing is a business and the greatest asset celebrity authors bring to the table is not their writing. It’s their fame. We love famous people. We want to follow them, admire them, and say we once met them. And we love to hate some of them, too. Mock them, perhaps. And publishers can sell all of those things.

By the way, the blade cuts both ways when it’s a famous author collaborating with less-well-known writers. The very same James Patterson, for example, has become, in essence, a publisher. He co-writes several books each year with very talented authors who haven’t yet achieved the name recognition he has. Other big-name authors do the same, some of whom aren’t even alive anymore… In these examples, the blade cutting the other way is that many cynical readers will assume the name in the smaller font on the cover is the person who probably did the lion’s share of the writing. With ideas, guidance, and contributions from the bigger name, of course. Just as an editor might do. I can’t say for sure that my description is true, but I believe it’s what many readers assume to be the case.

TALENTED “AMATEURS”

It’s not my intention to pick on celebrity authors. If their books are tent poles that increase sales that allow publishers to put out other books, I’m all for them. And if they write their own successful books, even more credit to them. There are, after all, famous people who’ve written brilliant books on their own, fiction and non-fiction. And the same is true of “amateurs” in other fields of artistic endeavor. Alexander Borodin, one of my favorite composers, wrote symphonies, operas, and beloved chamber pieces, yet he was a doctor and a chemist. Then there was Charles Ives, the American modernist composer. He was an insurance man and a talented college athlete. 

JUDGE NOT

No, I do not judge a priori celebrity authors. In the end, their work will have to stand on its own merits. I merely point out that they will probably face assumptions about their actual contributions to the books they co-author. For better or worse, that’s a hurdle plebeian writers like me don’t have to endure. My readers know full well I wrote the words they’re rolling their eyes at.