Pass the salt

You’re hosting a dinner party. Which six characters from crime fiction are you inviting and why?

by Dietrich

For this question, I considered all the well-rounded and memorable characters from the novels that I’ve read so far this year. Then I thought why not keep it closer to home and invite the characters created by our own Criminal Minds. So, I went and got some extra chairs to make rooms.

First off, let’s start this virtual potluck party by dividing the chores between our Week One and Week Two writers. That means we start with Susan. And I say we let her characters Katherine and Pippa choose the table setting for our potluck. No doubt it would be white linen, and of course our potluck would take place in Burgundy. And obviously, one of her characters would choose the right wine.

From Liar’s Dice, let’s lure Gabriel’s Shane Cleary away from the snows of Boston and leave the mounting body count for a while and come and toss the salad.

And while Cathy would be the perfect person to organize the event, I think we could safely task this to the women of the WISE agency and put them in charge of sending out the invitations. And of course Althea, dowager duchess of Chellingworth, would be the right character to take care of the table setting. Who better than a duchess to know which fork goes where?

I’m sure that Catriona’s Lexy Campbell would delight and surprise us with the hors d’oeuvre, perhaps a mysterious object all wrapped in bacon and smelling of syrup — yum!

Josh’s Niels Madsen would be my first choice to man the BBQ and get things smoking in the right direction.

Brenda’s Ella Tate could lend a clever twist to a well-crafted and riveting pasta salad for those with a vegetarian lean, perhaps with the help of her sidekick Detective Liam Hunter.

Terry’s Samuel Craddock hails from the Lone Star State, and who better than a Texan to bring the right steak sauce for us meat eaters? And Im also hoping that he might keep an eye on Niels to make sure he’s not burning any of the ribeyes and links.

I think I would seat my character, Paulina Ovitz, next to James’s Ellie Stone, seeing how the two are both from the same era and bound to offer some excellent table talk about all things sixties. Maybe they could team up and whip up a fabulous sixties’ dish like a cheese ball, or for dessert a Jell-O mold — so yummy-less, it’s enough to make my stomach cry.

Then of course there’s Abir’s Sam Wyndham who would no doubt delight in treating us all to Mixologist Anthony Peart’s Milk & Honey vodka cocktail created for his novel The Shadows of Men: 40 ml Russian Standard. 2 teaspoons of runny honey, 50 ml milk, 2 cardamon pods. Shake vigorously to break down the pods, strain in a tall glass over ice. No Garnish necessary.

Well, there you have it — a perfect, criminally-good potluck. Bon appétit.