It Was the Best of Lines, It Was the Worst of Lines

Paul's taking a bit of a break this week (his treatment is proving to be a bit exhausting, however he WILL be back) so here's a post - following this week's theme about openings - that he posted in August 2019. Depending on your perspective that's either "not every long ago" or is eons ago, in the "pre-COVID period". Either way, it's a fascinating, and insightful post. 

Readers often read the opening few lines or page to a book before deciding to buy. What makes an opening sentence stand out above the rest? Give examples of openings, including your own, that you believe work brilliantly. Any tips or lessons learned for new authors about what to avoid on that first page? 

by Paul D. Marks

“It was the best of times,
It was the worst of times.”

I don’t think you can beat Dickens and that opening line. And despite the title of this post, I’m not doing the worst lines here.

It’s interesting, when I first started writing this piece I went back to a lot of mystery/crime (and some non-mystery) books that I really like. And I found that a lot of them didn’t have what I would consider particularly catchy or hook-y opening lines. Though I did find some (see below). Yet for one reason or another I was still hooked into those stories. So this leads me to believe that, while a good opening line is a good thing, it’s not the only thing that one needs. Maybe these days it’s a little more important because everything is moving faster and people need to be hooked quicker. But I’m thinking that a good opening paragraph or even a few pages will do the trick.

Also, some of the lines I would have used have been snatched up earlier in the week. Not wanting to repeat those, I’ve come up with some other examples.

Re: my own openings, coming from a screenwriting background, I do usually try to open a story with a hook or teaser. You need something to draw readers in and give them a little taste of what lies in store for them. Like some of my fellow Criminal Minds have noted, it doesn’t have to be a body or a murder, but something intriguing has to happen. There has to be a compelling reason to keep reading. And clearly the style or genre of the story will make a difference in terms of the opening. So let’s get to it.

Here’s the openings from some novels that I like:


The Poet  – Michael Connelly:

Talk about a great opening line—the first sentence really intrigues you. You know this character is involved in crime—maybe a cop, a newspaper reporter? Death is a normal occurrence for him, but then comes the reversal, “But my rule didn’t protect me—.” Now the reader knows something unusual is happening, something different and this is not going to be your run of the mill murder story. This is, however, my favorite Michael Connelly story of all of them.


Nightmare Alley – William Lindsay Gresham:

Stan Carlisle stood well back from the entrance of the canvas enclosure, under the blaze of a naked light bulb, and watched the geek. 

This geek was a thin man who wore a suit of long underwear dyed chocolate brown. The wig was black and looked like a mop, and the brown greasepaint on the emaciated face was streaked and smeared with the heat and rubbed off around the mouth.

This opening sets an atmosphere that’s mysterious and piques your curiosity. You have no idea where the story is going, but the description gives you a visual image that is so strong you feel like you’re there and you want to know who the geek is? What’s he going to do? And where is this story going to take me?


Tell No One – Harlan Coben:

This opening creates so many questions. It lets the reader know that they’re in store for a mystery that will be complex and multi-layered. It sets us up to wonder what happened in the past and what happened that altered everything? Already your imagination starts going into overdrive.


The Grifters – Jim Thompson:

Three paragraphs into the story and we don’t know who Dillon is yet or what his problem is, but we immediately know he has problems. And we know they’re not your ordinary type of problems. And we’re sucked into Dillon’s life and dragged into all his issues. Again, this opening sets a tone and mood. You know you’re in for a rough ride.


Down There: A.K.A. Shoot the Piano Player – David Goodis:

Why were there no street lamps? Why was the man kneeling at the curb, spitting blood? That intrigues me in this, my favorite David Goodis novel. And don’t go by the movie where the action was changed to France.

This is an example where the opening starts at the end of the story and we go back to find out what led up to this. A great opening sets mood, tone and makes us ask questions. It draws you in.


Devil in a Blue Dress – Walter Mosley:

Here you have a great example of voice. We get a taste of the narrator’s (Easy Rawlins’) personality and we want to know more about him. Yes, we are intrigued by the white man who walks into the room, but the real grabber is Easy’s reaction and the little tidbit of his history that we learn about. His character draws us in.


And one I always site from Raymond Chandler’s short story Red Wind:

There was a desert wind blowing that night. It was one of those hot dry Santa Ana's that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen. You can even get a full glass of beer at a cocktail lounge.

This is the classic opening that I’ve been inspired by again and again. What do I love about it? It describes a mood and setting that is so real you can feel it, taste it and smell it. And, of course, there’s Chandler’s voice, his acerbic wit and keen observation of human nature. He’s a master at openings.

Here are some openings from some of my novels:


Broken Windows:

The Hollywood Sign beckoned her like a magnet—or like a moth to a flame. The sign glowed golden in the magic hour sun—that time of day around sunrise and sunset when the light falls soft and warm and cinematographers love to shoot. Like so many others, Susan Karubian had come here seeking fame and fortune, hoping to make her mark on the world. Oh hell, she had come to be a star like all the others. And she would do it, just not quite in the heady way she’d anticipated.

I mostly write things set in L.A., so I like using film terms like “magic hour” to set a tone for the story. And I try to set up the mood and tone and describe the scene so readers can feel like they’re there. I want the reader to feel like they are in Susan’s place and empathize. And to wonder what she’s doing at the Hollywood Sign and why.


White Heat:

My father always said I was a fuckup, that the only reason we get along is ’cause he keeps his mouth shut. Maybe he’s right:

I fucked up high school.

Fucked up college.

Fucked up my marriage.

Fucked up my life by leaving the service.

And now I’ve fucked up a case.

Fucked it up real bad.

Teddie Matson was different. She had a golden life, until her path had the misfortune of crossing mine. I sat staring out the window of my office, k.d. lang playing in the background. It was a while till the sun would set, that golden hour when everything takes on a gilded glow.

Golden hour is the time when the light hits just right in the early morning or late afternoon. The time when movie cinematographers most like to shoot. The light is tawny and warm. Gentle. It makes the stars shine brighter.

Golden hour is the time when Teddie Matson was killed.

This opening introduces my character Duke and hopefully draws readers in in response to Duke’s voice. Again, I’m using film terms like “golden hour’ to set a tone and to contrast the illusion of the film world to the harsh reality of real life.


Vortex:

All I wanted was to forget the past. Put it behind me and never think about it again. But you can’t forget the past. Not really. It’s always there inside you, like a leech holding on, sucking blood and life from you every minute of every day. Sucking down part of your soul, holding you back and keeping you from moving forward. Like a shark, if you don’t—or can’t—move forward you die. The past is one harsh mistress. And it won’t let you forget it either.

I came home from the war and felt like I was on the front line again. To hell and back and back to hell again.

I guess this opening sums up my character’s philosophy and maybe makes you want to read more. It makes you wonder what happened that could be as bad as being in a war?


So, there you have it. What are some of your favorite openings?

~.~.~

And now for the usual BSP:

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Can You Judge a Book by its Cover?

What makes a great book cover? Is it the title or the graphics? Do you have favorites that you think work?

by Paul D. Marks

You can’t judge a book by its cover, but its cover might just be what draws you into it in the first place. The thing that makes you pluck it off the shelf and crack that cover to see if it’s something you might want to read. So, covers are definitely important.

As to what makes a good book cover, the title or graphics, I think it’s both. An intriguing title makes me want to read something as do mysterious or evocative pictures and graphics. It’s a symbiotic thing, each element works in conjunction with the others to create a whole that, if it’s done well, will grab my attention.

I think the best way to explain is to show this is by comparing different covers of the same book. As many of you know, I like classic crime fiction from the 20th century (that sounds really weird) so let’s take some of those covers and look at them. I’m using some of the books I mentioned in my December 14, 2018 post of year-end book recommendations:
( https://7criminalminds.blogspot.com/2018/12/classic-year-end-reads.html ) .

And I will tell you up front that the pictures pretty much go in the order that they attract me. So on single rows the ones towards the right end are the ones I like better. On double rows the bottom (and more to the right side) are the ones I like better. What attracts me to them? It’s hard to say. It’s an image that evokes some kind of reaction in me. Sometimes it could simply be that the cover that I first read the book under is if not the one I like best at least towards that end. But, I’m not a purist. I don’t necessarily have to go for the original cover or the first cover I saw on a book and often don’t as you’ll see.

So, after you’ve checked out my choices, let us know what you think.

DOUBLE INDEMNITY – JAMES M. CAIN

I don’t really like any of the covers on the top row. The woman in the second from right pic reminds me of Kim Novak in Vertigo, which isn’t a bad thing if it’s a Vertigo cover. On the bottom row I like them better as they go from left to right. Though the last two on the right are pretty much tied for my faves.

 

THE CHILL – ROSS MACDONALD

My favorite Ross Macdonald book is The Chill. Here’s a selection of covers from it. Which one/s do you like? Which one/s suck you in and make you want to at least check the book out without knowing anything else about it.

TAPPING THE SOURCE – KEM NUNN

Another book I like a lot is Tapping the Source by Kem Nunn. Here’s a sampling of covers for that. Again, which ones do you like?

THE RAZOR’S EDGE – SOMERSET MAUGHAM

The Razor’s Edge by Somerset Maugham is my favorite book of all time. I like the last cover because of its ethereal feel.

L.A. CONFIDENTIAL – JAMES ELLROY

L.A. Confidential might be James Ellroy’s best known book, probably because of the movie based on it. I like the original cover and I also like the last shot, which is from the movie.

DOWN THERE / SHOOT THE PIANO PLAYER – DAVID GOODIS

Down There, a.k.a. Shoot the Piano Player, is my favorite David Goodis book. Goodis has been called the “poet of the losers” by Geoffrey O’Brien. And, while I like the original cover (2nd to last), I really like the Black Lizard cover (last). I do, however, like the original title, Down There, better than Shoot the Piano Player, which came about because that’s the name of the Truffaut movie based on the book. And I have to say I absolutely hate the cover on the left and I don’t much like the movie either.

MONTE WALSH – JACK SCHAEFER

I don’t read a lot of westerns. But I really like Monte Walsh, the story of a man who’s basically outlived his time. And I really like the last cover here. It’s so evocative of a man alone in the West. A man riding into the sunset.

THE GRIFTERS – JIM THOMPSON

Except for the last cover, the Black Lizard cover, I don’t like any of these other covers. They’re just so cheesy, but not good cheesy.

DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS – WALTER MOSLEY

The book that introduced Easy Rawlins and I’ve been hooked from day one. I really don’t like any of the covers on the top row, though I can tolerate the last two. But the first two just don’t do it for me. All four on the bottom row are fine, but I like them from left to right, the last being my fave, which also happens to be the original cover.

WORLD’S FAIR – E.L. DOCTOROW

I really like this book for a lot of different reasons, but that’s for another post as this is about covers. I like all these covers, except the first one. But my two faves would be the last two on the bottom row.

ASK THE DUST – JOHN FANTE

Another favorite book. If you’re into L.A. at all you have to read this – and maybe its sequels. I like all these covers in descending order except for the first, which I don’t like at all. And though the building in the last one is hardly what Bandini would have lived in in Bunker Hill in the 1930s, the whole ambience of it works for me. And I think the palm tree seals the deal.

WHITE HEAT – UNKNOWN AUTHOR 😉

Okay, I couldn’t resist. And I gotta be honest, I like both of these covers. But ultimately it’s what’s in between them that counts for all of these books.

So, what do you think? What are the ones that speak to you from above? And in general. And why?

~.~.~

And now for the usual BSP:

Dave Congalton of KVEC Radio interviewed me. Check out the podcast here. My part comes in at 20 minutes, 30 seconds into the recording.

***

And Broken Windows has been getting some great reviews. Here's a small sampling:

Kristin Centorcelli, Criminal Element: 

"Although it’s set in 1994, it’s eerie how timely this story is. There’s an undeniable feeling of unease that threads through the narrative, which virtually oozes with the grit, glitz, and attitude of L.A. in the ‘90s. I’m an ecstatic new fan of Duke’s."

"Duke and company practically beg for their own TV show."

John Dwaine McKenna, Mysterious Book Report:

"This electrifying novel will jolt your sensibilities, stir your conscience and give every reader plenty of ammunition for the next mixed group where the I [immigration] -word is spoken!"

Betty Webb, Mystery Scene Magazine:

"Broken Windows is extraordinary."

Please join me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/paul.d.marks and check out my website www.PaulDMarks.com

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Murder X 5 – 5+ Crime Novel Gift Ideas

With Thanksgiving coming up in the USA – please take the chance to give us five titles or criminally good books you think would make great gifts…and tell us for whom they’d be suitable.

by Paul D. Marks

Only five? There’s so damn many good mystery-crime books out there cutting a list down to five is, well, criminal. I also run the risk of being repetitive since I’ve probably mentioned some of these books here in the context of other questions. For this week’s question I’ll stick just to crime/mystery novels. And my tastes probably tend to run to darker, harder-edged stories.

The Poet: Michael Connelly is probably best known for the Bosch books. And I’m among Bosch’s fans. But I’d have to say my favorite Connelly book is the stand-alone The Poet (1996), though Jack McEvoy, the main character does appear in other books. The story follows reporter McEvoy as he investigates a string of cop suicides, including his own brother’s and ends up going down a hellish spiral into a world of pedophiles. It also introduces FBI agent Rachel Walling, who shows up in other Connelly novels. The Poet is dark and unsettling, but I think the reason I like it so much is that it is so well plotted, with a lot of twists and turns, and that it really keeps you on edge the whole time. I think this story is for anyone who likes a good crime yarn, but it’s not for the squeamish.

Tapping the Source: These days Kem Nunn is arguably better known as the co-creator of the TV series John from Cincinnati, as well as a writer on Sons of Anarchy and Deadwood. But he’s also the author of, I believe, six novels. Tapping the Source (1984) is his first and is something special. If it’s not the novel that invented the “surf noir” genre it’s certainly an early and foundational entry. This is not the Beach Boys’ version of sun, sand, surf and surfer girls, but a much darker vision of life on SoCal’s storied beaches. Ike Tucker, an aimless young man, treks to Huntington Beach (a.k.a. ‘Surf City’) to find his missing and possibly dead sister. There he gets hooked up with bikers, sex and drugs. No Gidgets or Moondoggie’s here. And Ike will be lucky if he gets out alive. I like this one so much that I looked into acquiring the film rights. Unfortunately they were already taken. Now, if whoever has them these days would just make the damn movie already. Tapping is good for anyone who loves surf, sun and murder.

Down There (a.k.a. Shoot the Piano Player): David Goodis has been called the “poet of the losers” and his stories of people on the skids certainly bear that out. I came to Goodis through the movies, which is how I’ve come to several writers and/or novels. I’m a fan of the Bogie-Bacall movie Dark Passage, so after having seen it a couple of times I decided to check out the David Goodis novel it was based on. I liked it enough that I began to read pretty much anything of Goodis I could get my hands on, but this was before he came into vogue again so mostly I had to pick up very scarred paperbacks (many, though not all of his books were only published in paperback), and I devoured his whole oeuvre. And, though I liked pretty much everything to one degree or another, Down There (1956) really stood out for me. It’s the story of a World War II vet, a former member the elite Merrill’s Marauders who, for a variety of reasons, is down on his luck—way down. Francois Truffaut made the book into a movie called Shoot the Piano Player which, to be honest, I don’t like very much, but that’s why the title of the book was changed from Down There and is probably better known today as Shoot the Piano Player. I think it would be good for fans of classic noir, old movie buffs, and others.

Mallory’s Oracle: NYPD detective Kathy Mallory is a hard-as-nails cop and not just because of her bright red nail polish. Even her creator, Carol O’Connell, describes Mallory as a “sociopath”. Mallory’s Oracle (1994) is the first in the Mallory series and probably the best place to start. I’ve talked with people about Mallory and recommended the Mallory books to several people over the years. And it seems people either love or hate Mallory. I’m in the former category. I love her no-nonsense, doesn’t suffer BS approach to her job. Nothing, including the law, will stand in her way. Not that I’d necessarily like to be friends with her if she suddenly came alive and jumped off the page. I think the Mallory books would be good for someone who likes solid crime stories, strong female characters and doesn’t mind one that’s a sociopath…

Devil in a Blue Dress: Pretty much anyone who knows me knows I have a thing for L.A., past and present. LA history. LA culture. And novels and movies set in the City of the Angels. Walter Mosley’s Devil in a Blue Dress (1990), the first Easy Rawlins novel, hits all those bullet points. And, much as I Iike Easy, I really dig his psychopath friend, Mouse. Not someone you want to get on the wrong side of but certainly someone you’d want to have your back when the you-know-what hits the fan. (I wonder how Mouse and Mallory would hit it off?) Devil in a Blue Dress, and the other Easy novels, would be good for LA history buffs, noir fans, general mystery fans.





The Big Nowhere: James Ellroy’s The Big Nowhere (1988) is the second of his LA Quartet books [the others are The Black Dahlia (1987), L.A. Confidential (1990) and White Jazz (1992) ]. All are good, but if I had to pick one as a fave it would be The Big Nowhere. To try to describe Ellroy’s fever dream style is an exercise in futility. The story is set in LA in the 50s right after WWII. In part, it follows Sheriff’s deputy Danny Upshaw through the investigation of a series of mutilation crimes and exposes corruption and hypocrisy amid the “red scare” . I used to go to many Ellroy book events and signings and he truly is the Demon Dog of American Crime Fiction. At one event he even had a band with him. He’s a trip. His writing is a trip. His books are a trip. They would be good for anyone who’s into new noir with a retro setting, LA history buffs and the usual suspects.

The Grifters: Since math has always been a weak subject for me—you should have seen me trying to do diving physics…—I guess I’m doing more than five books here. Jim Thompson’s The Grifters (1963) is a good book and an even better movie. If you like people living on the down low, if you like con artists, and if you like the grift, this is the book for you. It would be good for fans of Jim Thompson (how’s that for stating the obvious?), noir fans, hardboiled mystery readers.

Bonus Round #1: White Heat / Vortex / LA Late @ Night (uh, all by me): Well, since I’m not

above a little BSP I couldn’t very well leave out this trio. White Heat is a noir detective thriller set during the Rodney King riots. Vortex is about a soldier returning from Afghanistan and finding more trouble in LA than in the war. LA Late @ Night is a collection of five of my previously published stories. And all three would be good for everyone! Well, anyone who likes hardboiled, noir and detective fiction.

Bonus Round #2: As many of you know, I have a thing for both Raymond Chandler and Ross Macdonald. I think they’re in spheres by themselves, especially Chandler, but Macdonald too. I don’t think you could go wrong with any of Chandler’s or books—because he’s just such a damn good writer. And Macdonald blows me away with his explorations into the psychological aspects of crime and stories that boomerang back on the characters—the past always comes back to haunt them. I like pretty much everything by both of them, but if I had to pick I think I’d choose The Long

Goodbye (1953) for Chandler and The Chill (1964—a good year for the Beatles too!) or The Galton Case (1959) for Macdonald. These books would be good for pretty much anyone interested in mysteries and the crime fiction genre, but especially as an intro to a young or new reader of mysteries. And as an introduction to classic mystery and detective fiction.

What about you? What books would you recommend as gifts for the people in your life?

***

And now for the usual BSP:

Please check out the interview Laura Brennan, writer, producer and consultant, did with me for her podcast, where we talk about everything from Raymond Chandler and John Fante to the time I pulled a gun on the LAPD and lived to tell about it. Find it here: http://destinationmystery.com/episode-52-paul-d-marks/

www.PaulDMarks.com

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